loving you~~~

Lovin' you is easy cause you're beautiful
Makin' love with you is all i wanna do
Lovin' you is more than just a dream come true
And everything that i do is out of lovin' you
La la la la la la la.~~~~~~~~~~

No one else can make me feel
The colors that you bring
Stay with me while we grow old

And we will live each day in springtime
Cause lovin' you has made my life so beautiful
And every day my life is filled with lovin' you

Lovin' you i see your soul come shinin' through
And every time that we oooooh
I'm more in love with you
La la la la la la la~~~~~~~~~~~

STOP!!! AND.....

stop crying there at the corner!!! stand up and do what you should do!!!
Stop being lazy facing the comp!!! go wash your face and go back to your work!!!
Stop looking at facebook and wondering what to do next!!! close it and open ur ai instead!!!
Stop blank out your mind and your head!!! go get some fresh air and think of something!!!
Stop sleeping and yawning!!! go whack your head on the table and back to your work!!!

hate standing alone and facing thousands of people...

Since when i feel like i am not the one i am anymore? It seems like.. i can't be as peace as i use to be, every time when i think of you.. my world start to clash.. and is like all up-side-down...
I can't be myself... Am I that kind of person who can be affected by a person that easily?

Did you notice?
Did you care?
Did you worried?
Did you sad coz of me?
Did you ever felt lost when you are with me?
Am i important to you?
Am i look that stupid to you?
Am i that kind of person u think i am?
Am i cheap to you, until u think that u can do anything on me or i can give you everything you want?
Did you see me that important? or you see yourself more important?
Did you ever betrayed me?
Did you ever lie to me?
What am i to you anyways?
Am i that annoying to you?

Is the matter of time... You will leave meh? No lo... you will drunk yourself and start scold me~~
I am glad that you feel that way~~ reli? gud kk u take care~~thx u 2~~where is my baby? lao po~~ stupid...
@##$!@#!@#$ ft la u...

all the words that you said... i remember every single of it.. you will do that? I don't know~~ but one thing i know that.. it seems like i give out more.. and i can't seems to lose you... but you are like with or without me is nothing one~~ it seems like i am just a girl that you need by ur side when u are lonely...

Am i think too much? or is this the truth? am i really that important to you? i start to get confuse and blank... I donno wat is up nxt.. and when it ends... this sorrow of mine~~ this lonely of mine start to eating me up... and somehow... it is like a flood and try to taking me down.. i am drowning.. and crying...

you notice it?
you know bout it?
you understand it?

I've been living like this... for thousands of years already... i thought that i can handle it well and nicely..  but when i think of that i can't even rely on anyone.. i can't count on anyone... i can't get help by anyone out there.. i will just bang my head onto anything hard... and start cry... is like my weird habit ade.. after cry.. i will just fall back to the same pattern...

Is not that my families can't help...they can!!!  just that when i need help at the society.. they can't help...
Is not also my friends can't help oso.. they can!!! but when come to personal things and feelings... how they help?
And i thought that my love can help... but just that i am the one who always hold back and scared to say it out..... Sometimes i really wish that he can open up my heart and let me speak it out loud... but not to bang my head on any other things and cry... but up till now....

Don't feel anything ade...>< but still feel sorry for it...>< alamak....>< sorry....><

ANGRY!!!!

Don't pay attention to this... if you vomit...don't blame me =,=lll

[38 bobonut] Things I wanted to say for so long...
1. every time i see u.. i get lost and lost inside ur world... don;t know why i can;t seems to find the way out... and i don't wanted to get myself out of this anymore^^
2. some words u said, to be honest... i can't listen... either you are too fast... or i am lost inside u again ^^
3. every time we touch... my face straight away turn red jor le...
4. Why u can make my face red anytime wan....><
5. You ask me, "why you pick me?" "I don't know^^" u don believe... but is true u know.. i don't know...
6. The more I count out your bad habit.. the more i fall into it...
7. you don't have the looks, me also ^^ but i am those ppl who don care bout looks de oh [u don't know le~~]^^
8. Thanks for listening to all my rubbish... i appreciated it so much^^ when u gonna tell me ur rubbish?
9. Don't copy me k>< copy cat :p
10. Sometimes I really don't know how to react in front of you... that is why I "lalalala" and look at you quietly~~
11. I always stare at you without you noticing le~~^^
12. I....I...I.... sked....sked... drunk in front you jor... but i still do it de le~~ ^^
13. I...I....I.... sked... sked... sked... sleep next to you le~~>< [paiseh paiseh]
14. I got take ur photo before le~~ u donno le~~ wakakakaka^^
15. I want to kill you and chop you into pieces and throw into longkang~~ ahahaha^^ is all joking k^^ hehe
16. you made me mad and pissed off sometimes u know~~ :'(
17. you.... don't know how to eat chicken~~ lalala~~
18. come i peal it for u... want? hahaa^^ [paiseh paiseh again]
19. You are the charger for me, every time my bat died~~
20. Wake up la~~ sleepy head~~^^ love you^^ hehe

no matter what happens i still love you all k...

I don't wanted to lost anyone of you..

Coz i don't  wanted to lose someone i care anymore...

family... sry for everything i did that make you all worry and angry...

friends... sorry for everything that i did that makes u all pissed off of me..

husky... sorry for everything that i did that makes u worried and angry too...

I am sorry and thanks for everything you gives me...

负面的情绪

知道你是想保护我，也知道你想护着我。。
    但也不是一直说他这里不好那里不好。。说他是花心的，喜欢一脚踏很多船。。这种东西，我也会问我自己，他会不会。。他是不是。。但我们又不是他。。只是纯碎的看他一眼。。只是听我说他的一举一动。。你就判他死刑了。。看死他是那种人。。你知道？你看到？你听到？还是你猜测？你以你的经验看一个人？
    你说：

“他干吗丢那么多钱在别人的身上而不是你？” 

“他一定是跟她有问题的。。” 

“她都变得那么性感了，你是斗不过的。。” 

“我不是看死他，可是他这样下去。。是死路一条的” 

“你那天有发觉他和她有什么不同吗？”

“就普通啊，能有什么？”

“你很笨的咯。。”

    你真的以为我会笨到不会去观察吗？毕竟我是跟他在一起eh。。你爱一个人有错？你信一个人有错？我能坦白的说，我对他还是有个防线的。。只是我不说。。你又知道吗？我笨？我能笨到哪里去？在你眼里，不论我做什么，你都觉得我是不懂事，鲁莽，笨拙，头脑简单。。难道这么多年了？你看不出我是个怎样的人？
    你又知不知道你的这句伤到我了？ 这是我的决定，你不能怎样。。所以才一直放那些难听的话给我听？贬低他，然后同时兜个圈子来说我笨？
    你的关心，我感受到，但你不觉得你用错方式了吗？说我少和你们在一起了。。我承认。。是的。。我也开始关心啊。。可是你们又放话给我听。。
    妈的！！你是要我变回以前的我吗？
    问你们，这是什么。。你们就说。。

“你懂meh？” 

“讲了，你都不上心的啦” 

“你能给点心在我们身上吗？” 

“你能不能不要搞自闭？” 

“你没其它东西做了吗？只对着电脑。。” 

      当我想关心你们的时候，你们有要让我关心吗？ 不是说我没放你们在心上。。就说我一天到晚都不见人。。
   你知不知道你越来越过分？

“有时候，我真的不懂你的存在。。” 

“今天发生了一件很好笑的事情，有个auntie，问你妈妈。。你的大女儿呢？你知道你妈妈想回答什么吗？我都好像少了个女儿了。。哈哈哈哈哈哈” 

“不好笑。。”

“因为是你，你才觉得不好笑。。”

“你说我凶，你嘛跟凶。。” 

“我宁愿，你不在家”

这些这些。。我不会说是你们的错。。我的确是少了和你们沟通，玩耍，谈心。。
但你也要拆掉你们的防线，我才能再度或重新的和你们和好啊。。
说真的你们的一举一动，我会嫉妒，我会伤心，我会担心，我会觉得我坏，我会被逼疯。。

很想打出来很久了

赢了全世界，却过不了自己。。
看了来来去去的人，始终都看不上一个人。。
千挑万选，还不是辛苦了自己。。
注重外表，
心地好的，愿意付出真心的，还不是一样错过了。。
终于有个，智投相合的，但还不是伤了自己。。
终于决定放了，才发现身边有个自己梦寐以求的。。。
于是默默的付出，想表白却又不敢。。
被别人看穿了，就开始被他们酸，
酸了却又很开心，应为他们了解你的心。。
唯独她，还不知。。默默付出了两年，结果？
新的人进入了这场游戏，开始担心，因为他在慢慢的迈进。。
无可否认，你对他一点都不了解，一概不懂的你，当然会探讨他。。

她，只想专心。。不想做那么多或发生那么多的事情。。
你，想用关心，慢慢的付出。。希望迟早有一天会有好的结局。。
他，却被她吸引住了。。但是他清楚是不可能的，所以纯碎欣赏。。

解释等于掩饰~~哈哈

看你不顺眼的人，任你真么解释，他们都听不进去的~~不信你的人，你的解释是废的~~相信你的人，是不用你解释的。。 终结:解释是不必要的 

^w^ 

so... let it be... idk

idk anymore, is their life than let it be...

is their decision... then let it be.....

i have no right to comment nor fight back...

and I don't even wanted to get involve in their madness and craziness.....

That is it... tata... I live my own and you live urs..

just don't come across.. and don't hurt the one that i protect....

then is fine...><

so long and take care... tata...

no.200 post^^

Finally is my 200th post in this blog...
^^ just wanna to say that i keep on blogging until this...haha^^
(malas sangat...tak buat kerja pergi blogging)
haha^^

I had peoples who just teach me a lot of things^^ and thanks to them i learn and earn a lot^^
I know that even though there are some people who hates me or back stab on me just ignore them... cause you can't do anything..
I know that somehow you no need to change yourself into another person just to be like the one that a person wants you to be...
I also know that no matter how hard life is... you still need to live it...
I also knows that is right to protect yourself... but is wrong for you to hurt yourself...
I know that drink is not good... (later you will tell everything to someone....)
XD

And somehow... i wanted to thanks to the people who loves me and care for me ^^
My family.. sorry for worrying me so much... I am fine and i will take good care of myself^^
My lao po~~ ying and mei mei (suh mei) thanks for being there when i need you^^ and sorry i always cabut diri...>< and less pui u 2><
Thanks many people who give me support^^
just wanted to say... i like what and where i am... and thanks for all~~

Somehow, I know you will be there for me always^^

hhaha^^ this blog now look more like a random diary to me...
No matter what happens on me... I just wrote it down here...><
hahaha^^ almost everyday i am blogging now.....
^^anyways...
All I wanted to say...
No matter what happens on me...
No matter how things turning out badly...
I still have a great gang...
Who loves me and appreciated me
Who take cares of me^^
Who always support me^^
And make me feel bless~~
My family~~^^
My friends~~^^
And you^^hehehe
^^ thx thx^^
and love you all^^

2010

Don't know why... Somehow feels like this year...2010... is like an endless roller coaster ride to me... when the roller coaster starts, it will slowly climb up to the peak then will come down as fast as possible... there might have loops and went up to another peak again... but then it come down again...

At the beginning of the year, I was so happy that my friends are so good to me ^^ and i feel bless too^^

But then later he comes in and gives me a good memory and then break it all.... (and now we are together^^)

Later, I thought this is going to an end to me... end up like happily ever after.... suddenly.. I heard of rumors... and bad news.... family.... friends..... education..... and many more....

Personally, I really don't know how to deal with all of it once at a time... and I always get stuck and lack of motivation to continue of something...

Last time, no matter how people said to me: "how stupid and naive you are.... how careless and blur you are...." I will just straight away ignore it... but now I will think of it and had change... but then somehow... i get myself into a mess... and people just keep on telling me that... (before this..don't you see that i can handle something on my own?)

Now.. I think many things has change... I am not the me from the pass... really... i can feel that way somehow...but don't you feel the same way? or should i say... did you ever noticed it?

Now I also realize, people mind set really is "SET" already... is hard to change... cause people believe in what they see... and people is hard to accept a new things... for me I am TOO...