Find out something and makes me keep on guessing... i should ask for the answer.. but i cant even speak it out... how am i suppose to ask?
This makes me crazy...>< i can't think normally... i can't even react on it properly... and how am i suppose to face it?
Sad and moody.. keep on thinking that sure got somethings is on... but then after a few seconds i keep on telling myself is nothing... just that i think too much...><
Hey teach me what to do... should i ask? or not to ask?
ask jor.. sure got many problems come out... then the relationship might be.......
if don ask... i will just keep guessing... so the pain and suffering will only lies on me...

since things turn out like dis.. keeping it for so long... then just let me keep it la....
at least the one involve will not get hurt... and since i am tough.. i can stand it.. no worries~~

emoing...
no mood now..
every time when i was down.. i will always refer back to my blog..
(so i hope i never wanted to sign in my blog?)

why you are the one who started it and all the things blame back to me?
why things that you want you always must get it?
why you get mad at people when they want you to explain it?
why when you are down or start cry you sure have company to back up?
why? i am that useless to you?
why u hate me that much?
why you always thinks i am the wrong?
what ever things happen.. the one who to blame is me?
then why cant i fight back when you predict me was all wrong?
why i needed you, you always let me down?
why i said one thing you come yell at me that i was wrong?
why i found a thing to make me at least be happy a bit.. you forbidden it?
why you always said i had already change?
why you said that i am useless?
am i... ?
that wat i am?
why u bring me to here? in this world?
since from young u never think i did right..
since young i was always the last..
i am the naughty one..
i am the trouble maker..
is not like i blaming you... coz i know i am too...
but useless... i never thought it will come from ur mouth..
i never thought u thought me is useless...
now i know..
it hurts but thanks for telling me how useless i am...

Merry Christmas to all^^

fav quotes

1. Nothing is impossible, the only thing that is impossible is when you think it is.
2. Only time is capable to know how valuable love is.
3. Wise people can be wrong, fool's idea can be brilliant.
4. Don't ever follow what people said before you think.
5. You are the most unique person in the world.
6. Laziness defeat everything.
7. Are you tired? Yes, then welcome to reality.
8. Life is like a roller coaster, it goes up and down.
9. Everybody deserve love, jealousy kills everything.
10. Don't ever judge a book by it's cover.

xixi^^ no offends just speak out my mind~~

心静下来，大家之前看的和现在看的其实都是一样，都是会有差别。。
脚步停下，吸收的比那些跑得快的来得多，来得广。。

永远，真的很远？还是很近？
有些相信，有些选择不信。。
有些说永远是不会发生在这个现实世界，它只会在童话世界。。
以前的我。。我也是这样觉得。。
当时的我大概是害怕永远，所以才说他是不可能的。。
但现在，自己好像看多了。。
觉得，永远其实是无止境的。。
全都看你怎么看待它。。
永远能是一天，
它也能是一秒。。
只要你觉得值得，
只要你觉得是永远。。
那么那就是永远了。。

可能是我在谈恋爱，才这样觉得？
谈恋爱和这个是一点关系都没有。。
但我真的有时觉得很乱，这段恋情。。
因为，他很不同。。比起我以前的那些来说。。
真的很不同。。
所以我有一点不知所戳。。但我确定的是。。
他越不同,我越喜欢^^
paiseh paiseh nia~~ hahaha :P

why am i here, am i just wasting my time...

is all my fault.... isn't it?
For you who stand on your place....
Sure!! you are wrong!!! is all your fault!!!!

What if i tell you that i am sorry?
What for? you still do the same right? sorry for what? is useless...

I don't need you.....
I don't want you.....
Yes~~ i am worst enough for you to say that....
Yes~~~ i am worst enough for you to start fed up on me like that....
Yes~~
Yes i am...

I just wanted to do what i want.....
I just wanted to do what i wish for~~
But the things i wish for is always forbidden by you....
And every time i doing it... you will get mad and start mess up all the people around you....

I am naughty....
I am crazy.....
I am independent enough to take care of myself already....
I want to break free...
but you won't let me...
When i can?
I can't always stay with you always.....
I know i sounds bad or even worst....
I know i hurts you in a way....
but this is what i wanted.... what i wish for....
which is the things that is forbidden.....

I am lost... in a way.... can't really seems to find a way out... too many things run through my mind...
I won't complain, i won't speak it out... cause it will cause you nothing else but trouble...
and that is why you see how emo i am today...
I am the girl that won't shows how sad or how anger i am in front of everybody....
But you...slowly... maybe... i can...
don't know why... slowly you change everything...
I use to scared the lif... but then now i don't scare it anymore...
I use to hide... not to show...
indeed... i am still the same...
every laughter i made... it seems like hiding something...
every move that i take...
I'll take it carefully...
sensitive...
yes i am...
think too much....
yes i am...
hide too much...
yes i am...
can't really express myself in front of people....
yes i am....

i don't really understand myself....

don't know y these days... my feelings goes up till the highest point and i cant even reach it... but after that it goes falls down to the bottom.... and it is hurt....
But then i decided to climb up back to the highest point... but it will fall down again and again... no matter how hard i try... it just can't remain the same....

Suddenly i feel touch by the others.. because of what they did to me... and i feel like i am one of it... but out of a sudden... i've been avoided by them... the ones i use to be familiar with.... the one i use to love... y out of a sudden... all seems to be change? am i the problem of all of this? or you think that i have change and is not the one that you familiar with... so that you don't like?

To be honest... the more you treat me that way... i treat you back and i feel guilty for it... am i really change? change to be someone who is worst enough to make you fed up on me? why........ i ..... am? am i really?

I don't know... i don't even know what are you thinking.. things that i am not familiar with... and things i familiar with... are all change... but is it they change? or i am the one who change?
I really love this place... and where i stand from the past till now... but... now... it seems to be... i am lost.... i am not a part in it.... am i?

If my heart was meant to be hurt... i rather use a knife and slice it myself...
If you are meant to be mine... then i will keep u forever...
If i am the one who meant to hurt someone... then i rather that person use a knife and slice me painfully...
If i am the one who not belongs to here... then i will leave and find my place...
If you started to forget my appearance.... then let it be.. coz no matter wat i do i cant recall u...
If i really wanted to plan to hurt you... i plan it nicely... without you notice...
If i really that bad.. then u should be the police and sentence me to death...
If tomorrow is the end of my life... at least i died when i am 19...

My heart hurts... pain... and my eyes is bleeding (tears not blood)... the way you treat me... reflect how bad i did to you... is it all my fault that things turns out like this? Am i awful enough to make you cry for me? but all i know is the awful way u had treated me... i cant forget nor ignore... it hurts... and is painful enough for me to cry all bout it..... i cant hate but i need to accept it... things goes round... whatever u do on the others... the others will do de same on you...

Here again... i am awful... super awful...i am bad... i am a jerk... i am ntg but evil...><

i am awful

 for all de time.... i thought wat u said is right and is for my own good... and i keep on ignore it... and i feel bad of it sometimes... but now... the only thing i feel bad on you is because i didn't give enough time for u... and one thing is that all u predicted... all u think is wrong.. and it some how influence me... now i see things clearly... i know wat i am doing... and wat i should do...

i am awful... but yet... i will whack myself.. and wake myself up... so no worries... i will treat u well... and so do myself and de one i love.. i wont be influence by anything easily now... coz i see things clear now.. u might think i am blur and stupid.. but here i am proudly to say that i am not^^ i love you.. and so do you... i love all de ppl around me that do the same on me too..

I cant... reli cant... i cant ignore you... yet i cant hate you...  First you said that he is no good for me... but as time goes by you started to like him too.. then you said she is a big torn for me... but then time again proves that she has no reason to attack me.. and she wont attack me nor harm me... next you said that that girl is going to be another torn to me... and called me to avoid her.. or just give up coz i cant even beat her... But then she too has nothing to do with me... we had been best friend for a long time... i know her well and so do she... 

You are a bit over rated yourself by predicted at people.... whatever people did..  you will think that they up to something... but is time for me to tell you... i wont listen ... and yet i wont be influence by it... but i will take it as an advice from u... coz now... i know how to look at people... u might be right... and wrong too... but i rather follow my instinct or the sound inside my heart... no matter if i am wrong or right... i am ready for it...

To: another you...

i love you... and sorry for everything that i do to you... i am awful... because of me u broke up with her... u said is the matter of time... so don't feel bad of it... but i cant... coz i am the one who makes her cry... although i don't know she cried because of it annot... but as for a girl... if i met a situation like this i will cry like hell and curse on the guy... i am so sorry.... she trusted you... so much... and i had spoil both of ur relationship.... i screw things up... and i don't know what to do about it... coz this is a long time ago... things that had been done is done.. i can't change anything... but yet... i feel guilty and i am here to say that i am sorry... all i can do is to say sorry... although it wont help... and is late for me to said this...

i am sorry for you to feel bad that time... when i confess to you how u feel is in a big mess.. i am sorry because i had screw up both of ur relationship... i am sorry that i make u feel that u are awful... by ur face.. i see de sadness and miserable.... and i don't wanted to see that again... i will try my best to make u feel that u are the chosen one and the only one to me... coz i cant let it go and i cant ignore all ur feelings...>< can say like u are one part of me now...>< lol....><

24條暖暖的友情，你想起了誰。 （朋友會是一輩子的吧 ）

1、不管多久没見面 我們彼此都还是老樣子.脾气差 說話大聲 不注意儀表可是 永遠笑的那麼開心 所谓的好朋友就是这樣 無論从哪里活多久敢過來 不尴尬 很輕鬆自然 我心疼你 你的眼淚淋湿了我的心 真的 記得有個人為你心疼

2、我们是彼此嫉妒 却共同進步的伙伴。

3、是你 浪费在我身上的時間 让我變得珍贵

4、我的青春有了你，沒有愛情也甜蜜！

5、所有人都說我很坚强，只有你劝我别逞强~

6、不管愛情,还是友情,终极的目的不是归宿,而是理解,默契---是要找一个可以邊走边談的人.無論什麽時候,怎樣的心情

7、在最窝囊和无助的时候，能够懂你、耐心地和你说话，并且用真实的情感安慰你的人。在现实的生活中，哪怕有一个这样的人也不容易。

8、 你经历那么多的人 聚聚散散 分分合合 以后还会有 但是你要记得 最后留下的 永远都是我

9、爱情如花，友情如酒，花开一阵，酒香一生。

10、请记得，好朋友的定义是：你混的好，她打心眼里为你开心；你混的不好，她由衷的为你着急。

11、.你知道那个男人如果对你不好我会怎么对他的。 别哭了，再哭我也要哭了。 实在不行就哭吧，哭完我们去吃自助。 哭完了?这下好了吧，自助餐厅关门了。

12、朋友就是把你看透了，还能喜欢你的人

13、你，是世界上的另一个我。

14、你.你们.是我此生最美的风景...

15 、朋友总是为你挡风遮雨,如果你在远方承受风雪,而我无能为力,我也会祈祷,让那些风雪降临在我的身上。

16、我愿意用一份刻骨铭心的爱情换取我们一份细水长流的友情

17、好朋友就是在一起的时候即使都不说话都不会觉得尴尬

18、我知道你會做我的掩护 當我是个逃兵

19、一个眼神就能了解我的全部。 言未说 泪先流 比自己更爱我

20、爱情是灯，友情是影子，当灯灭了，你会发现你的周围都是影子。朋友，是在最后可以给你力量的人。

21、知道你的自卑，知道你的辛酸，知道别人不知道的你，当你难过泪流满面的时候在你身旁抱着你说没关系的没关系的我还在呢？然后你可以更肆无忌惮地哭肆无忌惮地流泪然后酣睡在她怀里

22、别人都问我飞的高不高 只有你问我飞的累不累

23、朋友是唯一 一面骂你一面为你擦眼泪的角色。

24、毕业前夕, 就要各奔东西, 相隔那么远不知道什么时候才能再见, 　　你坐在窗前, 背对着我说, 也许我一辈子都不会再遇到像你一样的人了...　　我急忙擦眼睛怕眼泪掉下来被你笑话, 不过我现在真的和你想的一样..

想和你做一生一世这样的朋友，想拥有一生一世都不变质的友谊，因为我们是朋友，

所以......请珍惜~~~~~~~~~~~~

——其实朋友就是这样 无需想起 因为 从未忘记...........我的朋友 爱你........

i see just a yellow lemon tree....

I'm sitting here in the boring room
It's just another rainy Saturday afternoon
I'm wasting my time
Although I got lots to do
I'm hanging around
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder

I'm driving around in my car
I'm driving too fast
I'm driving too far
I'd like to change my point of view
I feel so lonely
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder

I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree

I'm sitting here
I miss the power
I'd like to go out taking a shower
But there's a heavy cloud inside my head
I feel so tired
Put myself into bed
Well, nothing ever happens and I wonder

Isolation is not good for me
Isolation I don't want to sit on the lemon-tree

I'm steppin' around in the desert of joy
Baby anyhow I'll get another toy
And everything will happen and you wonder

I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree
And I wonder, wonder

I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see, and all that I can see, and all that I can see
Is just a yellow lemon-tree 

><

i am proudly to say that... now i am sick>< =.=llll