tofu~~

Canon 718~~ you change to tofu le XD hahaha new name XD tofu~~~~ XD hhehehehe

Specially to one of my fan...

I don't know is there really got another fan but.. hahaha but this is

to... the fan I have who had a canon 718 XD

Sorry these days didn't really teman you or even pui you.. And sometimes i reply like I am in a rush.. and didn't even asked how are you today or how is your work today... sorry sorry k... last time heard you said your grandfather pass away you also do almost the same thing of mine.. Just wonder how is your grandfather look like.. and when or why did he pass away that time.. and that time how old are you actually? Due to some issue of mine I can't be able to ask you on that time.. sorry dar..

Your birthday coming soon le ^.^ hahaha preparing... loading.... buffering your things too XD hahah If you asked me what is it??? hahaha is secret.. so no point of asking lu XD by the way.. dar you also doing something secret there.. hahaha eee... wanted to know leh XD

18 19 dec.. can't wait to see carol XD hahaha and you XD blek hehehe don't jealous there oh.. my lao po come first d k XD hhaha muak muak XD

EEeee heard that your leg almost recover ^.^ so don't eat eggs and seafood k... wait until it fully recover only eat k.. if not it come back again de ok... love you my cutest and adorable fan XD muak~~ XD

These 3 days..

Gred grandma and I are not very close actually.. But I can feel that she left us with a calm and peace heart.. ps: grandma rest in peace k.. Although she are not that close to me but I still never forget the smile of hers..

The past few days me and my family just went back to my gred grandma house.. It's been a long time we didn't go back there.. The secret garden they use to have already gone since the last visit in this year.. Am I a jinx? or an unlucky person to gred grandma? The past few years we didn't went back to her house she still fine and healthy.. but why this year we went back to see her... she past away.. haizz.. gred grandma... miss u....

The first day in the funeral ceremony.. =.= I had already mentioned in the past post.. so no need I repeat again.. 

On the second day which is yesterday.. I saw lin cried again... She used to be very close to gred grandma.. I don't know how to advice her.. or even make her laugh.. but who can even laugh in this time?? (ps: except for the children... coz they oso don't know what happen... so ok la..) But that family... @.@!!! They really can laugh out loud @.@!! Say jokes and laugh "WAHAHAHA" at the back... =.= ello... if wanted to play please see you are in what kind of condition la please... =.=llll shuu shuu... don't talk about them... On the second day, hakka people have one kind of traditional.. which is dig money from the dragon sand.. No matter how much you dig.. as long you have means that the person who dead.. (my gred grandma) will give her protect or some kind of wishes.. (paiseh.. is a shame that I don't really/ fully understands the traditional..) 

I really relief on the second day... coz that family don't even dare to come and kacau.. ^^ and my cute little cousin came on the second day.. we had a lot of fun while digging the money and watch how the "priest" done their hmmm... pray?? or a movie XD hahaha coz the way they do their praying is like watching a show or something.. XD hahaha But i also felt a bit creepy here and there.. This feeling... weird.. I feel like there is something watching us.. we walk we talk laugh speak.. there is a thing there.. the priest move started to slow down.. The cars and the light start blurring out.. but the dark place.. is like HD super clear.. Is freezing and cold.. and there is no sound.. even though people were still talking.. ishkk.. I bet I am too tires that time.. haha 

On the third day, which is the coffin will send to the grave yard... In the morning, we went there and everybody were waiting.. not waiting for us but waiting for the right time.. When the time comes we pray and send the coffin to the graveyard by walking to there.. and after that we pray again and then end of the ceremony... 

Today I saw many of them cried.. while the praying is going on.. I don't know.. what to say.. is fake or real.. is just for the ceremony or really sad because of losing gred grandma.. cause the past few days these people didn't even cried.. or mayb they cried at home.. i don't know.. but after the praying they stopped.. and when the next praying start they start to cry out loud again.. I not sure is fake or real.. and I dn't even wanted to know is fake or real.. but if really for me.. I can't even fake a tears out.. I don't even wanted to fake a tears out just for any ceremony or place which wanted you to cry.. cause I can't too...

haizz.. gred grandma.. I really miss you and grandma.. now you two can rest in peace... And I pray the heaven door open for both of you.. 

Don't know how to bring this formally.. but miss you... and love you... my dearest grandmothers.. 

26-5-2011

On this day... my gred grandma died.. and yesterday i just went to gred grandma house and attend her death ceremony.. 

I really hate to see that family... with a very good reason... They are such an evil.. When my grandma died.. they came and play around on my grandma death ceremony.. They play and laugh even chasing each other.. running here and there.. but when all the elders came.. they pretend to do things.. and pretend like they are very sad.. @.@!! yesterday... They doing the same thing again... Now even worst.. they keep on complaining we do things are not completed..  @.@!!! ello.. You are the one didn't do anything... so please shut up... They laugh hre and there.. and pretend to be very close to us.. =.=lllll hate these kind of people.. All they know is to Pretend... When we pretend they are invisible.. they purposely come and talk to us.. when we talk to grandfather.. they open up their eyes and look at us like they scared us snatch our ah gong away from them... @.@!!!! ishkkk.... 

gred grandma.. lin she really cried in front of every people... i never see she cried before... she is a very tough girl.. gred grandma... We knows we cant be able to see you smile any more.. we miss you so much.. 

Random again XD chapter 3 T^T

In this world.. In my life... There really is a lot of surprise.. This time this surprise god give me.. sadly to say I don't even like it.. My gred grandmother just pass away.. I just know this when I was on my way to da pao dinner.. Although I didn't really be there with my gred grandmother.. and although I am not that close to her.. But all I remember is her smile.. A smile that is so bright just like the sunshine..

The only thing I remember is when I play around the "secret garden" in the centre of 4 houses.. she smile and look at us running here and there.. wondering where is the treasure hidden in the secret garden..

I'll miss you gred grandmother..

Gonna see that family soon... @.@!!! I dislike them... hate them... T^T but what to do... all the anger and hatred  inside my heart can't even do a thing on them.. because they are elder... then how bout that two evil little girl? Why they are good at pretending at things and blame people easily? Don't they feel guilty? Don't they afraid one fine day they will get punishments? T^T Grandma... I miss you... If you still here.. they wont even do anything that bad.. Why... Grandma so sayang you all.. You all can take away all the things that used to belongs to her.. and blame at us that we took it all? and left a little to you all?

Really gonna be homeless.. yesterday.. that person who came in our house and look at the surrounding is not the buyer... but the agent who gonna help him to sell the house.. Still not sure gonna move to puchong or buy a new house nearby.. T^T haizz...

Family.. Relatives.. People... all selfish...only the closest people who cares and love you willing to sacrifice for you.. and only the one you love and care only you will sacrifice to them too..

Do you ever heard of a mother wanted to keep on shopping and ask for you to help her fetch her daughter home?  Do you ever heard of a mother yell at her daughter just to call her settle the transportantion to school everyday by herself? Do you ever heard of a daughter in law don't even know how to lap the table and wash the plates after eating? She don't know how to cook, do house work.. and yet she keep on saying to the others most of the things she handle by herself.. and her two daughter told me "See, my mother so kesian everything she do de ar.. see she so tired..."

If both of you are the same age of mine.. I straight away shoot you 99... @.@!!! All the things.. is my mom who did it de ok@.@!!! all your mother did is buy that two boxes of things.. and pretend to be busy while the elders are here...  that is all.. ishkkk... angry.... @.@!!!!

ommmm Ommmmm OMMMMM.... calm down.... these type of people I don't even need to bother... don;t bother don't bother... @.@!!!

Random again XD chapter 2 XD

Sudah sot.. I start play chapter 1 and onwards.. XD hahaha Today in work place consider ok ok... haha because busy a while then relax a while XD hahaha even play games in work place @.@!! mau mati le oh... XD blogging now during working time... @.@!!! really mau mati... XD

Working in a design company is always what i wanted to end up to.. ^.^ now intern ship in a design company is....... So exciting and yet nothing to do... Because I am just an intern... No way the boss give me handle a job by my own gua.. XD hahahaha but The way the seniors do work... is so professional @.@!!! eee.... admire... XD One fine day... sooner or later.. I want to be like the boss XD hahahahaha

The ring on my finger.. hahhah Although i bought it from 1u when there is a clearance sell in Jusco.. haha but I always wanted to have a ring (is best it was given by some one~~ ekhemm~~ XD).. XD blek.. dar~~ dar dar~~ XD hahaha kidding la~~ ring is not a necessary thing... but a fancy thing.. Hmm... since when people use ring as a sign of love or marriage de ar? hmm... need to find out..

Talk about finding out interesting.. hahahaha ok.. let me list down what i need to research during free period.. XD hahaha
1. ring (when it started to be widely use as a sign of love or marriage)
2. who design high heels.. my foot suffer nia.. but yet beautiful huhu..
3. Tattoo... beautiful yet is painful.. who invented it... why he/she invented it?
4. The first people in the world hahaha hard d oh XD hahha
5. interesting parts in human body ^.^
6. mate... hmmm... I am not ham sap oh.. just curious nia~~ how animals and insect mate.. XD is science @.@!! snakes, snails.... hahaa did you know there is one kind of fish when they mate their gender changes after mating!! XD hahaha interesting leh XD
7. dance history~~ XD
8. dreams meaning
9. Canon 718... hahaha want to know about this model more more more XD blek
10. hmmm.... don't know already.. hahaha what to look for? hmmm... haiya finthe top first la XD

That is all for random chapter 2 XD
chapter 3 coming soon XD

random again XD chapter 1 XD

hahah my Fan complain I din blog too much le XD hahahaha sorry hoh~~ yesterday m head really spin like merry go around.. that is why I din talk much and post much here.. paiseh oh XD muacks~~

Head spin, eyes can't able to open up.. my head/brain freeze(some times it freeze on the left hand side.. some times it freeze on the right hand side of the brain).... keep yawning :p...  is tired? is some kind of sign telling me that sickness is coming? don't know.. ee.. Might be sick soon... haha Long time didn't fall sick le.. hahaha If really fall sick.. die lo @.@!! hahaha intern ship... sure mati kao kao XD

Marriage is love graveyard... Is the end of love.. is it???? Everybody keep saying that but I don't feel it is like that though.. Marriage makes you know him/ her more.. he/ she reveals their true self... Maybe it is over what you had expected? or you can't able to accept the true of him/ her that is why marriage is love's grave? Because you have lost interest after looking at the true self behind him/ her?

ps: If you can't accept who he/ she is.. Then that is not love.. but please don't blame "love" and "time" is not their fault which makes you lose someone.. but your "interest" make you lose that someone special.. True love is never easy..

Will update later XD work work XD hahaha

nite ntie ~~ <3 To all people who see this~~ love you XD

These days~~

Due to some problem... might gonna move to puchong in the end of this year.... I will miss pj area very much... but still I need to come to coll and attend my classes~~ but not sure.. coz due to my college management.. I might be graduate in December... I not sure it is a rumour or truth.. but is good that they inform us first.. at least we know~~ and prepare for it... Not like some other people not even inform and bring people in.. and even rush things just to get rid of us..

Heard that saito is having a degree in graphic design.. I wanna to study degree... but... haizz no money ar... But heard that saito degree just RM10,000.... donno leh... not sure oso... T^T haha did i mention i am one of the people who get interested in things fast and easy? XD I love art... Because art is everything.. and that is why I choose design.. XD

Haizzz.. gonna be homeless soon... T^T haizz... am I too lazy or what? parents keep calling me to sleep early and do house work... T^T hahaha although house work is a must for a daughter ... hahahah XD I don't complain they keep calling me to work.. @.@!! cause I really am the lazy one... xixi... but i tried to do work le... T^T  mom don get upset k... T^T

dar~~ these days I didn't teman u a lot.. been busy these days.. dar birthday is happening soon ^.^ hehehehehehe wish I can fly there and celebrate with dar.. haiyo~~ T^T

Tonight

My eyes half close and I don't want to sleep tonight, this is due to....
1. dragonica
 Thanks to my lovely chow chow~~ i kinda addicted to it.. XD but still there is something i don understands... how it function ~~ XD hahaha

2. Dar
    eeeee.... all I can say is this.. take care k... I am so useless arr...  can't even help cure dar injuries.. T^T huhuhu... If I at kuching.... If.... huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu hmmm should post later if i at kuching what things will happen XD dar love you... really from bottom of my heart...

3. thoughts..
    The thing I use to expect it was lovely and adorable but at the end turn out things which is not what i expected... Although people used to said this is the cycle for love.. They said there are 2 cycle for love:
    a. friend > admire > love > argue > understands > tolerance > marriage > happy ending
    b. friend > admire > love > argue > misunderstands/ found out is not what he/she thought of  > break/ still together > If is still together they'll argue again and again > break...
Dar... we wont be like that de hor... I dont want us to follow the second cycle of love... Don't willing to hurt dar.. and don't wanted to lose dar... Am I think too much? haiyo..

New kind

For the first time I had dreams like those...  wake up see my face all red.. body all burning as if i were in a fireplace.. The scene in my dream is way too "romantic"  eeee~~~

For the first time my heartaches by listening to wat happen to you.. take care ar...no more running or rushing in the rain k.. if cant be able to walk jor then find a shed place..  haiyo... you ar...take good care arr... Really really don't want anything bad happen to you arr... haiyo...

haizz.. what if I at kuching leh? T^T huhuhuhu dar u take care k..

art Art ART

Sadly to said.. Designer and art always been look as an easy job for every one in the community who don't "appreciate" art.. And as always the elders wanted their grandchild or their child to become a lawyer or ceo or something which is not related to art only they called it success.. =.=ll 

But hey~~ 

designers out there have faith..Because the market can't survive without we designer exits.. ^.^ so be wild and run free with your creativity~~ 

Design is the first signal of human intention.. Yes... but not much people realize that.. Everything is art XD and everything have their own unique design.. haha There is no beautiful and ugly in art and design.. If you said there is.. please define fully what is beautiful and ugly~~ Why that specific style of thing is beautiful/ ugly~~ XD hahaha... I found it hard to define because there is no specific range for "beautiful" or "ugly".. but there is a range of things U like or dislike XD

Typeface/font/text/words

I bet there is thousands of people know how to read~~ but sadly, not much people appreciated the beauty of typeface~~ there is over thousands and millions of typeface out there~~ How many people actually know them all? Here is some typefaces which are newly created~~ and some playing with the existing typeface to create great things enjoy~~  

TO: you~~

xixi~~ wish i can make this for you leh~~ XD hehe wan don't wan? Count to three~~ 1....2.....3.... fine lo u don't wan... T^T hahaha XD 
You arrrr.... take care k.. I can't be by your side.. T^T sorry... but really take good care of yourself k.. Be careful k.. And tell me what ever happens k.. I don't want anything bad to happen on you again.. 

Familiar? XD Know the answer? hahaha see~~ design actually bonds people together and bring happiness to everyone.. Art and design is fun~~ Designers out there~~ please don't be frustrating towards your assignments and job~~ art is fun ^.^

Guess what words it is? XD hahaha 

Fabizo font~~ new release from Frederico Landini an elegant font by using the high contrast of the thick and thin line.. hope you enjoy it ^.^


Poster/ illustration/ graphics/ painting
Hope you enjoy it ^.^ and be inspired XD

Haha~~ I always find these kind of tome is attractive~~ 

Interesting combination XD isn't it?

Hyper real painting... I always admire these kind of painting.. Is so real till you will think it is a photo instead of painting.. @.@!!

reset

If there is a reset button.. what you will do? click it or leave it?

click it is to rewind and back to where you started.. back to when you didn't did any mistake.. back to when all things is good and fine..

leave it is just leaving it there and do nothing but accepting what you have done no matter right or wrong..

So your choice is?
For me is just leaving it there.. No matter how suffer it is after I done something wrong.. No matter how desperate I am willing to turn back.. I won't click or even touch that button..

When you done something wrong or did a mistake.. It's actually just an experience for you to remember it.. remember how you suffer.. remember where goes wrong and how it start to go wrong. Although is hard and harsh.. but this is life.. Don't you aspect no one do mistake in their life.. But just remember, correct it after that.. apologize if you hurt anyone.. and be sure not to do it again..

hitting the reset button, it also mean that u lose a thing.. lose an experience even a person.. Do you ever met a person by a mistake? haha XD I bet you have... If you really back to where it started.. it also mean all things gone too.. for a person who scared to lose a thing.. I sure won't touch that reset button.. XD

So~~ your answer is? yes no? XD

现在懂了。。

有时真的很害怕，一味着想变回乖乖牌的我；叛逆的声音不断地呼唤着。。即冷又带忽视的眼神，即淡又敷衍的话语。。不时地打击我，叫我放弃。。换是当年的我，我早就破口大骂。。非要把自己的立场表现出来才行。。他们说的不完全是错，我的确想多了。。也比较敏感，一句话，一个动作。。都让我想特别的多。。换作以前，我才不管leh~~

乱了的情绪就像覆水难收一样。。想调整它。。

像迷路了一样，站在十字路口，看着那些已知道方向的人来来回回。。自己却站在原地不动。。向前进却又怕前面的路会是带我到绝望的路。。想回头，到人潮拥挤逼得我无法再回头。。慢慢的推向前，不愿意踏出的脚步，一味想回头的我。。就在那一刹那，觉醒。。已经过的路就只要记得他的风景就好，看过的事物有些特别的令人难忘。。但人一旦只记得想要回到过去的光荣时刻，就已注定这人永远不能向前走；永远看不到未来的自己和世界。。

人有时就要逼的。。当时的我都不懂这句话的意思。。现在懂了。。

canon 718 model

hahah This post is to introduce the one and only canon 718 model..

First of all.. this model is limited and there is only one.. Which I have own it myself XD hahaha waiting for he to ship himself here XD I know this model since a month ago.. At first I thought he was interesting due to his history background of the model.. Then I slowly get to know this model... this canon really cute XD

Is very cute and is very caring.. Is very detail.. and clear even clear than any one of those canon model.. XD anyways.. this canon cute in many ways... what ever he wants to do he'll ask for your permission.. He'll tease u by his words on the screen.. He knows when u are down and will cheer u up.. This specific model of mine.. change my perception towards things.. Although my family stand against me and said "cannot"... but still I don't wanted to lose it.. And I don't want to lose both of them..

Anyways~~

This model.. canon 718 is mine no one can take it away XD hehe love this canon so much

My diary of today.. 21-5-2011

For the first time I remember how I open my eyes when I woke up in the morning.. Although it happen fast but All I remembered is blur image and slowly it becomes clear.. but still half blur due to my eyes half close.. I slowly crawl out from my bedroom then slowly walk like a zombie to the kitchen and run to the toilet..

As always, I spent almost 3 min in the toilet.. to sleep.. XD hahaha don't know why I can sleep in that condition for 3 min.. pretty weird hah.. XD I walk out the toilet after a cute yell from mom "si po~~ at toilet doing wat ~~ I wan use toilet arr~~" then went to the sink there and start brush my teeth.. haha don't know why.. Every time I looked at the mirror and will start to make faces funny, act cute, ugly.. test angle some more @.@!! scary woman XD

After the crazy time facing at the mirror.. I slowly walk to the living room just to put on my glasses and watch the clock that hang in the center of the living room main wall.. is 7:50am MY GOD~~ quickly rush to my room to find.... erm... match... erm.. snatch what ever I can snatch wear it on and start packing up my bag..

"OK all set" but mom not set yet eee.... still planting in farmville... eee.... sit down at the sofa and blank my mind for several min until mom said "done"... Finally, I reached lrt at 8:30am... ishk... no time no time~~ but still got time to sms hahaha XD lala enjoy rushing time XD

Looking at the places where the lrt pass by.. suddenly I think of the past again.. But all this time all I do is just a sigh.. then keep moving on... and text more XD

8:50 reached work place... at last.. huhuhu.. sweaty at my back and this time don't know why the work place is warm today XD but I am sweating.. T^T For the first time I want the place to be cold.. XD

Today at work place happens a lot of interesting thing, For the first time we send in the final work for our boss.. and he threw it back for us to develope and do some final touch for it.. After that.. Client came.. And so he present the whole thing and concept to the client.. Siao eh..  this two mens voice is all over the office XD so lively they discuss XD But at last I get to see how was it looks like for a client meeting hehe happy nia~~

After that the whole company on facebook.. and seems like all relaxing while the dateline for some project is tomorrow XD hahaha the seniors was super funny.. and I can't catch up what topic and things they are talking.. haiz.. things I scared happens~~ but anyways~~ I keep syok sendiri when I found the "treasure" in library~~ hahaha XD really jakun at work place there.. XD

After that we went back home makan, bath, watch Harry potter XD eee~~ and clean my desk ^.^ and now I am blogging..

The work place today really siao de eh.. haha XD and some of them started to know the ekhemm~~ relationship of mine.. XD hehehehe today kinda busy and can't be able to chat much with dar.. sorry arr.. my cute dar.. T^T love you... Sorry for me type out love u is easy.. But say it out loud..eeee... hard arr... don't know how to say that.. My mouth automatically shut or my tongue auto tie up itself and I can't able to speak it out.. T^T sorry arr... 

Pictures I look through today

Today I seems to be very hyper.. Maybe due to I found back my long lost lrt card and pendrive which are just located in my laptop bag... =.= eeeee... I need to change my bad habit for being careless... T^T

Yea~~ sometimes.. being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall.. I cried a lot.. silently.. just not to let people notice.. Is not hiding from them.. Is not a shame but they will worried when they find out I cried.. and so I cries silently..

I always believe there is true love who both doesn't cares bout the religion, appearance, family background... but they love.. just because you are you.. the "you" who he or she loves.. 

eeee~~~ hot hot XD hhahaha hehehehe wanted to explain my thoughts here but... hahahahhaha but.... eeee... never mind la.. i keep it myself XD

Photography.. is there any models for me to capture? I'm not good at photography but.. I always wanted to take a few shots that looks like this kind of quality.. I'll try my best to improve ^.^

Is there a place that sky and ocean are in the same horizon line? Is there a place that is peaceful enough? without any destroy/ affected by human selfishness? 

YES.... This is so true... I am matured~~ XD I gone through a lot k.. can't say is the most but a lot.. a lot.. If really want me to talk bout my stories and things I gone through.. I think I need 10 yrs to fin it XD 

I got two grandpa~~ don't be confuse~~ one is my mother side one is from my father side.. Mother side gong gong passed away when I was 8.. I love him so much.. although I didn't talk to him a lot.. but the warmness I felt from him.. is the most precious thing I had ever feel.. father side ah gong.. I missed the ah gong I used to know.. the ah gong who cares.. who love.. ah gong.. where are you? where is the ah gong I used to respect and love?

HEY !!!!! DOG..... why u hug my cat XD 

erm erm erm.... erm erm erm... wat i wanted to say is in the pic.. XD tata

I really don't understands why people like you will hunger for more luxury? when there are people out there suffering.. @.@!! Don't make me disappointed at you... recently there are many people who shows their true faces.. @.@!! please don't tell me you are one of them too.. 

hehehe dream house dream family XD lalalalalalalala is all just a dream XD

Are she waiting for another? or Her's already gone? 

Present

wish list for this year XD hahahahaha

1. slim XD believe me i can... I can.. have fate
    Been fat for so long ade... need to go back to the time when I was slim.. not too skinny not too round in shape but ngam ngam tat time XD hehehehehe got any tips to slim down for me? XD or you want me to share u some ^.^


2. A teddy or plushie ^.^  << already have >> xixi
      Thank you dar XD for the mr pig... I always wanted a teddy bear or one of those cute plushie~~ Cause I never receive one from others... Really appreciated it XD love you~~~ mr pig~~ XD hahahaha hehe


3. A cos play costume and a character~~
      Hmm... this is a tricky one.. hahaha Cause I also don't know what am I going to do with that.. Although I used to be inspired by those cos players when I was young.. But that passion of mine towards this is not strong at that time compare to art XD But now.. I met some friends who can said is crazy on cos play.. my oh my.. they are good.. @.@!! so impressed by their hand-made costume and their make up... T^T i wan to learn too... T^T


4. Ear phone..
      Haizz.. is there any brand of ear phone guarantee that it wont spoil forever? huhuh All the ear phones I have all hancur so quickly.. T^T sob sob kesian...


5. A set of make up tools... @.@!!
      As I had already mentioned in the cos play list.. I want to learn make up T^T huhuhuhuhuhu


6. Wacom (the pen thing to draw in computer)
      Haiz... another big haizz for this.. T^T no money to afford this thing.. I always wanted to draw manga or comic character in computer and colour it by using photoshop... T^T huuhuhuhuhuhu T^T


7. A new phone
      Mine is dying... T^T Cant even close the cover ade.. sob sob.. I don't want china phone liao T^T so scary every time I used it.. T^T just want a phone that have camera, mp3, can online.. that is all.. but also can call and sms and those basic things la of course... most important is i wan original de.. T^T I'm not looking for those i-phone or touch screen... I'm quite olf fashioned and outdated on phones.. XD but please if u wan to introduced me phone models.. please don give me those bottle form phones kind of model T^T lol~~ not that old fashioned XD hehe... got one model i like de... but that one sold out and no stock le T^T haha... think phone this thing.. need take time to look for it.. wait until my phone spoil first la... XD


8. Ring ^.^
      Hehe, what can I say? I started to love rings.. XD hehehe I have one for my own.. hehe.. and that is my first ring and the only ring i have.. XD what to do? my finger too big.. can't fit in those small little cute ring T^T


9. Collectibles ~~
      Haha really need to fill my desk up like a dump ade.. XD wanted to know what can fill up my desk like dump? haha artworks.. things related to art.. XD from papers to models.. XD crafty to industry made product.. reallt wanted to go shopping and back to college to dig for more art related object~~ hahaha
ps: to me art is everything nice that exits in earth ^.^ nature, human made product~~ lala and more..


10. xxxxx
The greatest thing i wanted the most.. is xxx this is to hide from my dear xxxxx hahaha XD sure xxxxx wil be reading this after a while.... hehe how to describe this leh? 


But anyways.. Although things I listed here is what I wish for.. But is not necessary what I wanted to have... And things I wanted to have is not what I needed.. but I am happy and glad that I have what I needed.. I used to be materialism.. but now.. After a major thing happen on me.. slowly I realize things that you wanted is all temporally.. lowly you will want for more and more.. but what you needed is the most precious things that stays forever... love&cares Is all i needed.....


btw.... love you~~ all the people I know, I cares, I love^.^

1 2 3~~ smile ^^

又尝试过毫无忧虑的笑吗？这种笑，是我见过最漂亮的笑容。。而这种笑，也是最稀有的。。

可能这就是为什么我傻乎乎的吧？就是想看见这些稀有的笑容。。他们是我的动力。。人有高潮迭起。。这句话，我小时就已经懂得了。。但却并非完全的领略他的意思。。可能之前的我是温室里的小花吧？所以都不懂得外面世界有多“精彩”。。

虽然现实世界并非我想象的一样。。但我也亲信他跟我想象的是不一样的世界。。所以这些无忧无虑的笑容才更加动人美丽~~更加吸引我的目光。。

刚才看了他的照片，你的笑容是多么的灿烂，多么的闪耀~~我想你了。。想看你那张灿烂的笑容。。所以请你小一个吧~~1 2 3~~ smile ^^

Random~~ Rojak =)

Although it is a RANDOM... but still Should be more organize... XD hahaha

LOVE YOU
Love you~~ This special word.. If you doesn't really meant it.. then don't say it.. And this is why I rarely said this words.. because I only will said it if I really mean it.. but don't know why.. the past few people I met.. They can say it easily.. Which is now.. I scared to hear or listen to love you this two words.. cause I don't know weather you are real or not.. But as for you.. I can sense it.. is real..isn't it? love you too.. ^^

POO POO
Hehe stalker here... I saw two cats poo poo-ing along the road when I am on my way back home :P xixi This is the first time I saw this amazing thing ^.^ usually I saw cats they will just stares or even run away.. T^T huhuhu... I love cats.. Don't run away from me T^T Really hope I can have a pet cat... T^T but haizz.... long story.. I can't have one T^T (ps: if you don't know bout the story.. please refer back my older post la XD)

MY BIGGEST FAN 
I have a FAN~~ XD This FAN used to be the special person I have.. Since This person wanted to be my FAN.. XD OK LA downgrade from special person to FAN XD Hehe I never had a Fan before.. haha guess I am hyper with the Fan word.. Cause to me, I never been the one who are in the spotlight.. Not much people cares who am I or what am I though.. but I get used to it, cause being alone is not bad at all.. you can stay quite and creepy which will decrease your popularity.. When it decrease you can do what ever crazy stuff you can to spoil ur image.. cause no one cares~~ but people will think that u are immature... hmmm... come to think of it.. is an bad idea.. shuushuu~~

A words to my dear fan~~ Thank you for concerning, cares, advices... everything ^^ love you <<< i really do mean it oh..

The big "sopo" in xxx design firm
 Let me introduce the one and only, come from fillipina (people use to joke me... T^T) the one and only kakak XD hahahaha To be honest.. I really really sot in every where.. For a place which are quiet serious which everybody who re frustrating to work.. I still can get myself high.. for some small little jokes.. cold jokes.. silly jokes.. what ever jokes.. And the whole design firm heard my laughter.. (don't know the boss will kick me out annot eee...) haha but I really can become as high as possible.. Some people even asked me "Are you drunk?" haha Another funny thing happen in my work place is.. I don't wear shoes.. XD walk with my bare foot XD And I can't be able to sit properly.. lol~~ haha but when comes to work.. I am serious, quiet and dealing with my work.. but when boss is out of the firm for some meeting.. hehehehe this is where the silliness and craziness starts.. XD muahahaha


Last but not least
 Thank you for concerning and read till here XD not sure is there anyone who will read this but ^^ i bet my fan do.. XD hehehe love you ~~ 

I'm in love with you forever~~

I'm in love with you forever.. this is also the first time i felt this.. The past few.. I never even have this feeling.. god had I found the one I waiting for?

ignore the emo lyrics about leaving.. but the chorus part.. I'm in love with you forever... I'm in love with you forever ....

加油吧，虽然路会很难走。。可能我们也会遇到瓶颈之类的。。加油吧~我们可以的~~

A test from god

I can't blame anyone for this.. All I can said this is a test for me.. for us

When I always wanted a thing... I wish to get it and have it.. But every time the greatest things is happen on me.. The worst comes after.. And it will snatch all the things away.. I used to blame why my life is like this.. every time  the same routine goes on and on... But this time.. I'm not going to blame anything..

If we can make it through.. which is I hope too.. But if we can't make it through... which is the things I don't wanted to see.. This time this person change me a lot.. can said is being matured more than I expected.. Although I am sad because of the "routine" is happening again.. But this time I don't wanted to lose anything..

Decision is made.. and we will come over it.. The path is tough.. but we can.. we can right?

Don't know why.. this happens before but I keep on have a fight with the one who don't agree with me.. this time... I don't even want a fight with them... I know they loved me just as I love them.. But I too love him.. Both are important to me.. And I don't wanted to lose both of them..

I used to scared to be so happy.. Because I know the "routine".. but as for now.. If it comes.. then let it be.. I have faith.. And I believe... If we made it through nothing can stop us.. I'll prove it... I'll not giving up anything..

ps: Thanks you love you^.^ you and me +u+u ^^

Fake

1. People

       Actually most of the people fake out something in order to protect themselves and even blend in with the others.. There is no wrong or right in these.. Cause, this is what they choose to do.. For me, as long I don't hurt anyone then that is good..

2. Relationship

       XD hehe Do you heard of fake relationship slowly turn to real? XD I am glad that finally our relationship... Don't know leh? I used to fall for it before him.. but I keep tell myself not to do so..  Cause I don't want the same thing happens again.. I think too much? haha donno...  but I am happy and glad.... Don't know how to said it properly but... dar I love you~

haha end of story blek XD

Spending time on blog ^.^

Hmm.. Finally got the time to spent (spam) on my blog XD The past few weeks, had a lot of thing gone through my mind.. guess that is how an adult live eh ^^ When I was a young naive kid back then.. I always wanted to try to be adult.. Decide things on my own and spent my own money XD guess things is quite different as time goes by hah~~


Work 
KDC (Koh Design Consultancy)
haha should put this tittle as my intern ship XD But don't know why I don't feel like I am doing my intern ship.. Cause how they treat me and Suh Mei is like we are designers working in a design company... The seniors were nice and funny but when come to work everybody is super serious.. I love this kind of environment, it makes me excited.. I really dream to be one of the design company.. Brainstorming of ideas, present ideas and progress to the boss.. Have meeting.. asked or even learned from the seniors.. @.@!! I love being a designer ^.^


Social 
For this matter, haizz.. To be honest I really weak on it.. especially deal with strangers.. I don't know how to talk and I seems to be afraid.. When Me and Mei went in to the office.. I quite admire Mei have that kind of talent to merge in with strangers that fast.. Quite envy XD hahaha But what to do.. I am weak on it.. and I need time to work on it XD Suh Mei and Ye Ying.. Both of them really is my role model (social life) haha XD They really get to know people quickly and they know how to handle social very well... Think there is more I need to earn from them eh XD


Personal 
Hmmm.. there is more I can say in this paragraph... hah... Recently there is a person who really bring back all my memories from the past till now.. How suffer it is when I was in primary school.. How dreadful my life is when I was in Form 2-3, and how lively my life is started in my Form 5... How sad and scared it is when I fall in love in Darren.. 


I had to admit it, I breakdown and cried when I think of the past.. That kind of feeling is hard to describe in words.. I can't say i went through a lot but.. Those flash backs is just like it was happen last night.. But thanks to this person.. Slowly... Slowly... everything is getting back to it's own path.. 

Short description for this special person.. 

Keep making me laugh when I was down

Everything I said... This person willing to listen

Never turn me down when I need help

And always take cares of people who are in trouble, but;

No one seems to really understands...

I not sure that I am really fully understands this person.. And I can't guarantee I really know what is in his mind.. But thanks for this person.. Slowly it heals, the scars I used to have back in my "scary" past.. Thank you ^.^  I don't know what to say to make it sounds like it really come from my true heart.. but anyway.. Thank you


Overall, hahaha I really slowly become a grandma.. XD hahahaha but still I love my family friends lao po~~ XD and that special person.. XD and the person whom I care ^^ I love you XD

emo-ing+ orce to working.. =.=

Betrayed.. Who is the one betrayed you? Can you blame him or her for betraying you? But you are the one who decided to believe in him or her.. So who is betraying? Is that people? Or you yourself betrayed yourself? 

Since when my heart feel that way? Is it because of the loneliness? We both are a mistake? Or fate? Or... You and You... the feeling I had is the same.. Am I that desperate of love? Lock myself in a cage better..

first line last line so random.. XD

Sometimes really felt that there are many problems..
They not come from anywhere else..But from me.. myself..

I do realize that I am not that popular and not a social expert..
I can chat with a friend half way and went out blur while they are still talking..
I will think a lot of negative things towards people/ things...
I really am the worst friend ever..
Just keep me in the dark side..
Just left me there is enough..
Thanks..

Feel like disappearing.. but can't.. It can't help much.. haizz...

DR~~ Happy first anniversary ^.^ hehehe

Intern ship XD

Finally, Intern ship... At first I was panic and scared don't know what to do..  what kind of people I will meet there? How am I suppose to wear to show respect? How am I suppose to talk to show respect and active?  arrrr.... Super scary... T^T

This morning went in.. then there is a beautiful lady coming down from the stairs. We both greet her good morning and She show us the way up to our desk...

After that we had a meeting.. @.@!!! Finally I get to know how a real meeting looks like XD hehehe Really learn a lot... Oh yeah.. this reminds me to write my Report.. XD

Hope that I got time to blog now... hahaha But apparently I don't XD For the first day the boss ade brief us 12 projects they are doing now.. XD hahahahaha but Me and Suh Mei will take part in 2 projects XD

Itekimasu~~ feel sleepy arr... started from 3pm hahaha til now..  Hope tmr wont be like this..
Wish me luck ^^

he said she said..

he+she 
he+she
he
she
us
me

he+she   I always respect both of you, coz to me both of is like my goddess... Maybe both of you can't even notice it. Cause I really don't know how to express my feelings towards people. I might look like a young and active girl. But when comes into social issue.. I'm suck.. haizz.. she left us.. And He started to do things that he used to teach me not to do. Betrayed, Greedy, Evil.. I not sure what can I believe anymore You used to be the angel for me. But why, you slowly turn into a devil? the one I used to know, used to love.. Where is he?

he+she  Both of you, to be honest you guys always stand against us, due to some stupid mind of yours.. You guys always think we had all, but both of you had nothing. And so, you started to do some small actions to drive us apart. And you tries to act nice and kind but it is all fake.. When there is people there, you guys act like you were angels.. But when they turn away, the true colours of yours reveal.. Now, you guys finally wins.. He started to trust what ever you said and trying to get rid of us.. Is this what you really want or more?

he        To be honest I thought you are one of the good ones. but why you can be that cruel? Aren't us mean anything to you? Aren't us? Why the things you did to people can be this cruel this scary? What the hell exactly are you? Why we need to clean up the mess you made? Fine if you want us to clean.. but why you can push away all the things nicely and sad you did nothing wrong?  why?

us + me These days.. arguments always comes in.. and everybody started to be frustrated, no matter you did something wrong or just a little bit mistakes.. Then just prepare yourself being shoot by others. Ignorance, Frustration all negatives are killing me recently.. Is there something I can do to save the whole situation? Is there any power in me? Is there anyone who can understands even If I said things like this?

ps: to clear things up.. The people above I mentioned have nothing to do with my coll life and my buddies life..

思绪好乱好乱。。

其实当时我说我爱你，你是否真的动心呢？
这问题当时我问了自己很久很久。。
我是那种以为爱所以爱的人吗？
如果是的话那我就真的很差劲了。。
别问我为什么，我也想问我为什么。。
但答案我就不懂了。。

最近，我发现自己很神经。。
不时地看着那个人发呆。。
然后联想他会在下一秒会如何的死亡。。
我是不是又问题啊？
会想这种东西？
就连我也会联想自己如何死亡。。
walau@.@!!!着很恐怖eh。。
我要去看心理医生吗？

看着那些夜空下的灯光。。
我的心平静了。。
本来还凶凶的。。
看着那些夜灯，然后把焦点模糊。。
那些本来不怎么起眼的灯光，顿时灿烂了起来。。
模糊的影子，不时地吸引着我的目光。。
夜空下的灯光，让我爱上你的原因又是什么呢？

为什么 T.T 明明是没东西都被别人说成有东西。。
为什么，听听下。。我也被影响以为有东西？
其实我只是当作朋友。。朋友~~但我又不懂不懂。。
好乱啊~~我不懂啊~~专心专心~~功课功课~~

那天我笑了

那天我笑了，在我累不可坎的那一天。。当时我像平时一样，站在天桥下发呆，等着妈妈的到来。。突然从身后一个黑影飞快的闪过，停在那红色的自行车。。很快地，拿起已经夹在自行车头的那张粉红色纸条。。读着读着，他脸上冷酷的表情慢慢得露出一个灿烂的笑容。。然后他掏其他的钱袋，把纸夹在里面。打开钱包的那一刻，我看到了里面还有很多张和他手上拿着的那一张是一模一样的纸。。

一张纸条，一个期待。虽然不知纸条里写的是什么。。但那个笑容，是一个出自于心里的笑容。。看到那男生，看到那情形，不知写纸条的人是什么人。。但我还是会心地笑了。。

那天我笑了，突然的我想起了他。。还不是得掉下了眼泪，我还以为我会一个人得撑过那无奈的深夜。。但你看到我回应的讯息有点怪怪的，你打开了视讯果然不出你所料。。我崩溃了但却死撑。。你慢慢得安慰我，我也慢慢的哭诉。。那个夜晚，是我从没遇过的情形。。但也足以温暖我的心。。谢谢你。。做我的耳朵^^

世上有多少人能当你的耳朵聆听，能当你的嘴巴说出你的心声？若你遇到了，请好好珍惜^^


那天我笑了，你拉我到后面告诉我一些我不懂的事。。虽然很难听，但谢谢你告诉我。。不然我也不会懂这些。。后来他经过，来回了两次，第三次踏出声问了“你还好吗？” 我的心感觉到一丝的温暖~后来，她陪同我去一个还蛮遥远的地方。一路上慢慢安慰着我。。没有你们，我看我还活在一个很天真的世界。。谢谢你们拉我到现实。。^^老婆们爱死你们了~~XD


身边有很多人都不断地告诉你你想要听的，同时也拉你到一个虚幻的世界。。那些你觉得美好的其实才是杀死你的慢性毒药。。反而那些，不停提醒你甚至式着吵醒你的人才是把你拉回现实世界的中药~ 

谢谢你们^^让我能笑着过每一天^^