stranger

I need something... something which can whack me hit me tortured me.. just to wake me up...

  Feels like I've been living in your so call "illusion" for so long.. someone or somebody wake me up please.. Is not that i feel depressed about it, i love this illusion.. but i know it is impossible for us that way... hah^.^ you had your life i had mine.. but it seems like i start to feel that i can't live without this illusion.. because I've been use to it.. for a years... but know seems like we are falling apart.. but this illusion of yours still remains.. the memories of yours is like killing me.. and it is also saving me in the same time.. 

 You wanted to kill me is it?? some times i ask myself this question.. but i still can't leave you alone too.. if you need me i sure come in the first place... but when you don't need me i will be in the last in your list.... haizz... fine la... i get use to it by the way... but i don't hate you anyways.. and i don like you also... for you me is the same as what i thought also... 

  Hah ever since i first met you.. i already been attract by you... haha.. why i sounds so lesbian de le... oh no.. my god.... is it i am that way? is it?? wait.... what i feel to you is....haha..

i think too much... me ar.... haiyo... btw... is good that we keep this distance too.. is good for me and you.. although now we are like totally strangers... but we are like strangers who understand each others very well..

  ps: good luck with your life^^ and hope you will have a good relationship with him...

cat

I think all my secondary friends knows i love cats so much^^

but in coll i think only some knows^^

haha.. never mind..

just wanted to say i love cats very much...

i think there are some reasons why i love it so much..

1. their cuteness : yea.. they are very cute.. they walk, crawl, yawn, sleep, looks... everything is cute..

2. their attitude : It reflects me alot i think.. they are playful, calm...mysterious.. i love it^^

3. their size : no matter is kitten or cat.. i love them in different size.. small big fat thin less hair furry fluffy 

4. Their eyes : i think this is the biggest reason that i fall for it, i can stare for hours.. just by looking at it eyes.. their eyes always drag me to their world.. every time i look at it..

i wanted to adopt a cat seriously..but due to many problems i can't.. 

1. my father is a bird and fish lover...

2. my mother always say is hard to adopt a pet.. u need to take care of it..

3. my second sis afraid of cats so much...

4. my little sis will only play with pet a while then ignore them... some more she doesn't love cats either..

haizzz.... i want i want... i take care of it... really... but i also know i got some problems also...

1. need go to coll almost everyday

2. 6pm only come back..

3. no time....

4. all time give to assignments...

but if can i sure will try to manage my time...

huhu really really ....

i really want a cat... huhuhuhu..

moments

Don't know why, i love to spot on couples cute moments and annoying moments^^.

coz i feel they are so adorable^^haha^^

but i also know i am a big light bulb too..

so i just watch from far..

(scary woman)

one kind of situation between 2 ppl^^

girl: why why why??

boy: yes yes yes^^

girl: how how how??

boy: think think think.^^

girl: what what what??

boy: that that that la..^^

girl: so....

boy: so.. lo^^

girl: =.=11

boy: ^.^

I met this before,

pretty annoying also..

haha^^ but can't stop laughing...

coz they are so cute together^^ haha..

another situation (couple argue)

boy: what did i do wrong??

girl: u ask urself la..

boy: lai la.. tell me la..

girl: (quiet and turns around)

boy: sorry la...

girl: (still quiet ..)

boy: =.=11

gitl: (walk away)

boy: start scolding..=__=

haha, pretty annoying rite...

some people mostly girls if their bf made she angry...

she will just keep quiet and turns around..

then the guys will like keep asking wat is wrong??

i met this situation before.. 

not me but my friends..

i was like waaah...

then i ask her why don't just tell him where he went wrong le??

she answer: tell him he later will do the same thing again.. don tell him is to let him figure it out himself..

but i don't think every girls is like that^^ 

i think oly she is like that^^ haha^^

ps: got anymore couple cute moments i saw bot in college and secondary school time^^ tell later^^ hoohoho^^

I ..

I want to say.....

I......

I.......

I........

I......

don wan go Halloween de prom....

scary le....

huhuhuhuuu

why?

Before i start to do my work, i on facebook... (15min)

mean while, i will also on facebook a while... (5 min)

after i finish my work, i sure on facebook...(15min)

i think this is my routine jor...

but even if i on without playing anything..

i will just on for 5-15 min jer....

even play also, i didn't play for long..

but why like this u also don let me on le??

my mom said : "can you stop playing and go back to your work.."

my sis said : "oi ==!! tolong la!! don't on you will die ke?close it now?" then keep nagging me until i close it..

My father said: "can you stop playing?? don't make your mom angry can or not??"

my lil sis said : "can you do your work ah??"

huhuhuhu

i will die de....

let me on facebook....

now..

they even don let me on msn

or listen to music..

msn is ok la... i know what the problem...

but listening to the music, can refresh my mind and give me more energy to keep on working...

why?? like this also don't let me??

for you, yes u will think that music will distract you...

but for me, it will just increase my spirit of working..

told you already...

but why?? 

huhuhuhuhuhu...

without music i will die also...

why??

lost again

Feeling lost again.. college, family, friends, interest, personal feelings....

College, got so many work to do.. everyday got one more and more and more..

is not like i am complaining.. is just that i don't know what am i doing.. see.. i am still blogging.. refuse to do work... i am really lazy... seeing people all finish one by one.. me?? i am what?? still rushing.. keep saying rushing.. but take many time to finish one thing.. haizz.. some more.. i think this semester my marks will be downgrade... haizz... don't know why... feel that my things my art work or should i say my work.. is more worst.. compare to the foundation year..

Family, don't know why.. it seems like we.. no.. i moving too fast or gone too far?? I can't really talk to my family as usual.. feel like i am in the wrong place?? or i am the one who are wrong?? Why.. i thought i get use to it.. those nagging, ordering, scolding, but why?? it seems like i can't stand it anymore?? last time i used to smile back to them and say oh ,ok.. but why now?? i just turn around and keep quiet?? I can see that you are very angry.. and mad of me.. yea.. i think i really am the one you say just now.. i change jor.. me and my family seems like.. falling apart?? i don want... i wanted us to be like the old days... we three.. use to be ... why?? is this is some kind of punishment?? or...

Friends, my coll friends.. love you all.. but sometimes.. i really feel lost... really... is not like i hate you or scared of you or you cause me this.. no.. sometimes... while alone.. i really will think back what i had done to you.. all of you.. then sometimes i will regret.. feel like i didn't be nice to you.. or being cruel to you all by the words i said.. if that so sorry guys... In the same time, i feel like i can't manage to be with my secondary school friends too.. Feel like i had been ignoring them.. yea.. he said it right : "this bobo ar, after school means bye-bye forever jor.." i thought i am not, but it seems like i am... sorry guys.. really sorry... it feels really bad...

Interest, due to kugen case.. I also think twice and even more.. is it i really love art that much?? or just people around me always said that :" bobo is good at art subject^^" then i only choose to study art?? hah... me ar... really am flower heart.. i love many things.. and get influence by it easily.. maybe this is the main problem.. when i finish my poster.. i love it.. After my performing on stage,i purposely stand on stage a while listening to those people who cheer for me.. it feels great too... i am that "muka tebal".. when i dancing in the class, i feel great too.. but i loss interest very fast also.. but these are those i still remains.. drawing, singing, and dancing...

Personal feelings, i lost too.. i keep telling myself not to do this anymore, stop doing it.. stop thinking of it.. cause i know the risk is very high... extremely high.. is like playing with fire.. but i just like those 3 years old kid.. when parents call you not to do this, 3 years old kid will just do it without bothering.. in my case now.. i am... is it because i love danger?? without any secure, without knowing what is behind the thing, without knowing what will happen next.. i think i will become the next people dying on the road bang by a lotus car..

But why, you are that insecure, but i still... when i can pull myself out?? or i will drown by this illusion?? or i will die in your so call trap?? or.. or...

It seems like i really change, to me.. this change has drive me away..leaving my beloved in the past. But i still love you all. But this does not means that i hate now.. i love who i am now, is just i think i need to think of something to lead me back to you and bring along the new things too..

but i will still smile, and be as cheerful as i can^^ don worry^^

ps: i feel it, you know? or you just fooling around with me?or it is just a misunderstanding?
     to all my coll gang the you<<< is not the one you think!!! ok... ^^

pls baby baby baby~~~~ haha~~~
singing mode><

say it

If you feel it, just say it!!

But i am always a coward... haizz...

haha^^

If you love some one, say i love you..

if she or he is important to you, say u are always in my heart..

if he or she is the one you wanted to protect, say i will protect you..

If you are lost and need he or she, say i need you..

If you are crazy bout he or she, say i am crazy bout you..

If you reeally wanted to stand by he or her, say i do^^

haha^^ but it seems like not much people can say it easily...

haha i am one of it..

but this does not mean i am confessing yea^^ don misunderstood^^...

just by listening to one song call i do by rain bi..

i really wish to had somebody that can let me sat it out loud to him or her^^

for "her" lao po^^ i love you, i am crazy bout you, i need you, i will protect you, u are always in my heart..

for "him" still... haha after 5 years up until now... empty... nobody..^^

wish me luck^^ haha.. 

ps: i ki siao liao, if u think so.. ignore this^^

pls "bang" me to the wall

Some times i just wanted to knock my face on to the table or the wall.. haha is not that others people make me like that.. is the other attitude of mine.. i can't really stand it.. haha..

Some times, i like so po in front of people. Or i will do something to entertained people, which make them laugh out loud.. is not like i don dislike this attitude of mine.. is just i am too crazy jor..

Remember one time, i play with my gangs way too crazy. The the next day, when we come to do some serious discussion for some project. I smile towards to her when i saw her. Just a simple smile.. And she said to me : "can't you be serious a bit? u know what are we going to do today? ". LOL, my god.. every time i meet my gangs or any other people, sure will smile de.. no way i show a dead man's face in front of you early in the morning kan? I also can be serious and crazy at the same time you know... haizz...

Some people really will judge a people by it looks.. so that is why some times i kena.. 

Another experience is i and my friends are use to be in the basketball team in form 2 and 3..

we always will play ad fool around after the training.. or in the short time break..

Maah, that time after the short break. we back to training lesson.. In the team i am the most clumsy one (i think) My captain saw me act so clumsy when i was defending my opponents. and she shout, "can you be serious ar? don't play play can or not?" walau.. again.. haizz...

Some more there is one time i and my nearest friend back in the high school days. Waah she more geng..

i used to avoid listening to those personal things of hers, cause it sure really ma fan.. and i don't wanted to listen too.. she always said to me : "u really know who you are? you really understands urself? don't be stupid and naive, i understand u de most, u know.." wth.. i said to her: "u really understand me ar?" then she said it out loud : "then you understand me or not? sure you don understand de rite? you never told me ur things. but i always told you. but you also forget what i said after a few minutes." waah.. walau eh.. then i just kept quiet..

yea it is true though, i never told her anything. And she keep on told me everything. but then she told me not to tell.. then i ma pretend i don know lo.. but then she will turn around and tell others... hah??

about her, haiz.. we always fight and argue de. we two keep hurting each other.. just to see who will win the fight.. at last.. she won.. but we never manage to talk to each other anymore.. yea mayb she is also right though.. she knows me well.. she knows where is my weak point.. she knows how to hurt me and defends herself.. coz she knows what am i going to do next.. hah... now... i din meet her... but i had confirmed her friend request in my fb.. i don't know is a good thing or bad? 

sometimes i keep asking myself, am i look like that to you??

I am very serious one you know...

I am crazy too..

So, if you can't accept it or it is too much for you..

haha^^ you know what you going to do^^

ps: if "you" are reading, i just wanted to tell you.. when i think back. I really feel that we're both so naive and childish. But in the same time i wanted to tell you i am sorry.. I am really sorry.. for hurting you in the pass..

Feel very tired today.. I slept in the car. When we are on the way to the grave yard. And when we return to our home i slept inside the car again.. now.. i feel exhausted.. but i still haven't finish all my work.. feel sleepy.. who can slap my face and wake me up.. i need it really..

To be honest, I really am lazy.. Because of this attitude of mine. I always get scolded by my mum.. Yea, it is my fault anyways.. But i really feel so tired oh..sometimes.. like now.. i am still blogging and refuse to look and do my work.. No wonder my mum always scolded me.. haizz... haha^^ i can say i get use to it.. i never fight back, or argue back. When my mum scolded me this.. cause it is really my fault thought.. haha.. 

Just like the cat, i am the lazy cat which sleep on top of a pile of works^^

love

no matter how you treat me..

i still love you^^..

papa mama mei mei xiao mei mei...

i love you...

wo ai ni..

saranghae..

aishiteru..

ti que ro..

ngo oi nei ^^

no matter how many days we've been together..

i love you..

my friends^^

my lao po^^ 

oh yea now is time to tell..

now all y lao po have their own name^^

ye ying- ying ying/ mei nu

chow suh mei- mei mei/ leng lui 

kimberly- honey

kin- darling

christina- lo po

ai yie- lao po

haha^^ don care bout the places that i put u all..

the people i list here

u all are still in my heart..

i will not forget u all

i will take care of you all..

if u all need me..

i will straight away run to u all..

because, u all accept me for who i am..

and i will always love you all^^

love you all^^

family

lao po

friends^^

ps: never thought that time fly in the speed of light.. i will die if i never had to be with you all in the future..
     That is why i appreciate every time with you all..

free

I know what i should do and what i should not do..

After all i am not a kid anymore, i know i maybe seems like a child to you.

But i had grown up, i had my own thinking. 

I know if i said this to you, you will get hurt. I love you, really. But please let me do something i wanted to do.

just let me fall, and stand up on my own. I am not complaining or anything. I just feel that i have been locked by you. Just let me get out, i will be fine really. I know that out there will have a lot of liars, obstacles, that i don't know. But, i am not young already. I am not naive or stupid anymore. I can see people and i will think before i take action. Yea i am clumsy, still childish. Sometimes..

Is not like i hate you, or really wanted to get out from here and never return. But for some decision, please let me do it. For some problems, just let me handle it. For some question, let me solve it. For some people, just let me deal with it. 

By the way, i still love you. 

Ps: if you saw this u straight away know what am i talking and thinking.. yes is you.. don't feel sad.. this is just my thought by the way.. and i still love you..

feeling lazy, so lazy, but need start work... if not.. i know what the price is..
so i need rajin rajin dan pecut... sorry my malay not good.. all broken wan..
I think i am more into campur campur style.. one of those "rojak" people^^
haha^^ my gangor should i say my "family" go "wet" today.. first is watch movie then is go i-city
haizz... i din go but i wanted to go sure is fun
work work work.. if i keep thinking i will also be lazy..
i don't want.. i want work work work
fast finish it...

ok

waah yesterday i really stress a lot. All the works can't finish, and i get myself painted..
Plus some others issues... haizz.. stress!!
But today it seems i lost a bit.. Don't know what to do.. what lecturer want and what i am doing now seems to be a bit different.. or should i said a big different??

packaging: furoshiki + light bulb
vernon's: 2 posters + 4 layouts+ typography
tay's: hanging mobile +2 photoshops
Ting's: presentation +sample project
david's : texture photography..

No wonder yesterday so stress, Vernon's poster i already ko liao..
haizz... i am lost.. who can lead me the way??
ideas are not coming to visit me today...
my mind now is blank, like a blank and white paper..
hope that later i can developed something..
hope i can finish almost everything..
then tomorrow i won't get frustrate...
and hope that my "health" can support me till the end of today...
ok.. like somebody said: You should feel relax and enjoy while doing your work..
If not you will die standing jer...

random + no mood

no mood== sry guys.. really no mood.. don know why.. but still... no mood..
got one kinds of feeling... donno how to explain.. it is not that "love" kind... and it is not that "hate" kinds.. what am i... actually...

people around me keep thanking me for helping them.. sure i be glad to hear that.. i am happy to.. but sometimes,i really don't know what am i.. who am i.. people say you are you.. people who like you will hang out with you.. but.. who am i?? what am i?? i really don't know myself.. i hink this is also one of the reason why i am no mood now.. too...

Plus the stress i had at coll.. walau>< really feel more.... haiz...
some more because of some annoying things keep on happen..
I feel more like ==lllll <
if this one also not appear on my blogger i think it must be my problem liao..

i keep on posting stuff recently. haha^^ but i found that some of my post can't really post on my blog.. why ar?? haiyo... go ko lian nia... By the way, i feel really exhausted, when i get back to my house. I straight away lie down on the floor. and sleep for 3 minutes.. haha^^ can't say sleep ... should say rest.. haizz... i wish i can go to a big field and lie down there.. and sleep... guys.. who knows where got these kind of places?? bring me can ar? my family? u all know?? i wan to go... huhuhuhu

Random

I think everybody try this before.. Lock yourself up and think of something. Sure, everybody will have to do this before.. But I personally thinks that people who always act like a fool in front of the people will do this recently.. For me, yea.. I experience it before.. and i saw people suffering too.. The things i mostly think of is myself.. thinking of something that i do just now.. is it annoying?? does it hurts anybody.. but then i regret.. I found that i regret of most of the things that i have done.. but in the same time i also feel happy that I've done it..

Pretty weird am i?? Yea, if somebody said that or tells me that i am weird .. i will 100% agree with him or her.. yea i am weird in someways.. But some of the people think that i am odd.. very odd.. yea, can say so.. if i m not odd.. then i will be like a clone of you..

somebody says: There will be some people tries to stand in your way. hmmm... everybody says that recently.. but i also heard of one thing.. u also might be standing in the others way.. erm.. did i stand in your way?

Seeing people and observing people is one of my habit too... I can't say is good or bad.. but when i was alone or in my group.. I always will look at the surroundings.. Look at the others... then think of something.. Observing his or her move after this and that.. Observing his or hers facial expression.. HaHAHA do you feel that you been spy by some one??

People is very cruel.. yea.. correct... people or should i say human beings are cruel.. very very cruel.. me, myself feel that way too.. I am cruel><

HAHA^^ i am going to fly later on^^ fly to hong kong^^ fly to china^^ for 7-8 days^^ ticket already book and confirm ^^ haha^^ finaly i can see those things i like^^ night^^ night^^ all those beautiful lights^^ feeling so good^^

Headache, why got so many problem? health.. assignments.. personal issues..

><><
arh><
now is not shopping for my love things><
but is shop for my assignments materials><
hahahha><
all my money fly... they always fly fly ><>< hhuhuhuhuhuhu

thank you

i cant stop saying
thank you
thank you
and
thank you
to all my
family
friends
and de people i meet
really really thx

if i start saying the reason i think i will spam the whole page^^
btw.... really thank you
love you
thank you
and thank you

feeling good again^^

i feel better when my two little sis come to talk to me of everything^^

and i oso feel better when my lao po talk to me^^ when they listen to all my rubbish.. i really feel disturbing them, but in the same time i feel happy too...

I just wanted to say thanks... and i love you^^

I can say that i am not those kind of person who emo too much, or think too much coz... i am not that kind of person.. But sometimes, as days goes by. I feel that i've been force to think much. And this is when all those stress comes in. It is stressful, really. College problem, friends problem, families problem. Ya, i think is usual to all the people here.. But for me, for me who does not think much. I think this is the most stressful things had happened in my life..

I really don think much, in a bad way they can say i am naive.. But now, due to all the problem i am facing.. right now.. I finally realize that life is good, and hard too...

People can't live "happily ever after" coz there sure have somethings which tries to block you to move foward.. It is not like i feel depressed now... erm... mayb a bit... but i am not complaining..

haha^^ sure, this is harsh..is sad... is hard... but get use to it.. or try to solve it... and it will be just fine..^^ coz.. you are not the center of the world, the world wont stop turning if u feel depress or sad...

So, don't spend too much of time on sadness, depress, complaining and those negative feelings stuff...
should smile and be positive at most of the time^^

ps: i think.. almost all of those sot sot people out there, gain more happiness on those serious people out there..^^ haha^^

能不能给我一首歌的时间~~
waah><
jj comeback stage@@
har~~~ it is been a long time jor.... i've get shock by it really><
haha jolin so beautiful^^
maaah>< jolin saranghae^^
jolin love you ^^

feel so angry><
first i feel so sorry to you><
now><
no more><
wth><
i don care><
walau what are you thinking actually...
i thought that i was the one who wrong...
didn't care bout you...
less connect with you...
wth...
maah...
and i thought i don't understand you..
did't manage our relationship that well...
maah><
after the things u said just now...
u...
are just a spoil kid...
self-center person...
people who less connect with you ...
you get mad..
people who didn't go your way you get mad...
and u say that i mad with you??
maah><
i was trying to heal our relationship...
and i get this back??
maah><
don come near me......
i don't know i will whack you or not....
i don't know i will scold you until u cry like helll...
pls don come near me><
i don want to hurt ur feeling><
maaah......

maah><
type my latest post on blog><
it gone jor><
maaah... at first so depress..
now more depress...
hate it...
><
maah><
pls .... pls...
don drive me crazy anymore

feeling good~~

feeling good~~
nice~~
everything just perfect^^
everything is just fine^^
everything is pretty done^^
hoho^^
love it^^
feel so good today^^
happy ^^
hehe^^
hope you guys feel the same every day^^

我是否太容易被人影响？？
别人说几句我就会相信。。。
是自己想太多还是。。。
我也不懂。。
为什么每个人都告诉我说他不是好人。。。
但我偏偏就撞个头进去
haizzz。。。。
为什么呢？？
难道我有这么的容易被受影响吗？？
难道。。。
我就真的会？？
可是这就连我也很清楚。。。
我和你是。。。bo ko ning的。。
哈哈^^
所以拜托。。。我亲爱的朋友们。。。
我们是不可能的。。。
哈哈哈哈^^

我和我的前男友。。。
haizzz。。。
算了吧。。。
那天我真的被吓倒。。。
他还是一样。。
没变。。。
但还是不爱讲话。。。
那天。。。
我们gathering
他跟他的朋友玩得很巅。。。
就连我也有点不想认他曾经是我的男友...
haha...
he hor><>< hahaha^^
长这么大了。。。
还那么的。。。
哈哈哈哈哈。。。
好开心哦。。。
离开你了。。。
离开你给的阴影。。。
离开你给的所有。。。
你保重啦。。。
呵呵呵。。。

believe or not

believe or not??
i am clever...
i am clear minded....
i am serious....
i am lazy...

haha^^
i think most of the ppl who know me well will say
half half...
sometimes sometimes...
haha^^
believe or not...
i will put 100% effort on the things
things i love
things i want
things i scared too><
really de oh^^
hahaha^^

mess up

i don know what to say....
after i ...
read the others blog.....
feel a bit depress....
feels like so empty inside....
feel blur blur now.....
after reading the second time...
i feel more blur and more empty....
><><><><
but i oso....
argh....
is it??
or...
wat the ......
maaah...
haoxiangma

pls take care...
my friend><
take care><
stay healthy....
^^

quiet

should i??
haha^^
infront you guys i was like a soh poh^^
laugh non stop after u all say some very cold jokes...
haha^^
but i really thought it was funny though....
haha^^
today..
we go yam cha...
this time i sit almost the end of the table...
and my head was on packaging stuff...
that is why...
today yam cha...
i was so quiet...
and then i was thinking of the concept of my things...
suddenly...
kean seng say to ying^^
u see ur lao po so abnormal today....
so quiet jor...
yea....
i m abit too quiet jor...
haha^^
but then i laugh...
then kean seng said is good that i can be quiet sometimes...
haha^^
==lll
is like that de lo...

but i use to it jor...
when u presented yourself like a talkative person...
but then suddenly u so quiet people will thought that "u so weird today"
"is it something append to you??"
but me sometimes ....
will bring myself into my world....
do things...
without bothering the others...
so...
is normal
hehe^^

yea ..
can say..
this is another me^^
see...
see....
see guys...
me not that soh po after all^^
me serious de....
when come to work....
or assignments><
haha^^
see...
see....
talk bout' work...
yea><
is time to work><
work....

ps: sometime really wanted to shout>< where is my holiday??
^^ hehehehehehe

naive

to tell the truth!!
i am...
that naive...
i am naive until i will believe what ever my friends said..
coz i will never thought that my friends will trick me^^
although some of them will tell me some lies..
but those are not that kinds of lies that can hurt me^^
that is why i always believe in you guys!! ^^
hehe

but still
...
i can say i really naive..
naive until i will believe a one person who just met is a good person
can say is judging the book from it's cover..
sometimes i will regret..
but so far...
no...
all the people i met now^^
so good and nice^^
hehe^^
love u all^^


although i am that naive...
but when comes to money problem...
i wont...
haha...
so i am not that easy to been trick^^
haha
^^

tmr tmr tmr!!!!

coll is going to reopen tmr!!!
hehe^^
happy^^
but in the same time....
sad too...
happy to meet back my gangs at coll!!
^^ miss u all so much^^
^^ love u al so much^^
hohohohohohoho


sad...
coz cant play like what i am playing now...
play until ki siao...
lvl up until...
so fast..^^ haha
sdo^^
hoho^^
thx ah biau ^^
who introduce this game to me!!
in the same time...
thx ah biau ==ll
for making me so obsess with it....
how??
how??
haha...
can say...
need to manage my time very well..
if not...
i will be like ...

haha...
meet so many funny ppl in sdo...
still cant beat ah biau...
coz he is way toooooooooooo pro liao...
haizzzz....
he oly lvl 11
can ply lvl 20 punya song...
me lvl 16 still cant play lvl 9 punya song very well
mahhh......
he ah....
can say...
姜还是老的辣。。。

谁跟悲哀？？

我能说什么呢。。
比起小鸟来说。。。
关在笼子里的蟋蟀。。
跟悲哀。。

我家有饲养小鸟。。
说已我们每天都得去买一笼子的蟋蟀。。。
我还有事对着蟋蟀和小鸟发呆。。

当我看着小鸟时。。
我在想若能冲笼子里飞出去。。。
那有多好。。
自由自在的。。。

回过头望着蟋蟀时。。
我反而觉得它们跟悲哀。。

仔细想。。
小鸟关在笼子里只求要有飞出去的机会。。。
蟋蟀反而逃出去是他们求生的机会。。。
天天在笼子里发出悲鸣声。。
希望着外面的蟋蟀能助他们一臂之力。。。
但却没有一只蟋蟀回笨得跑去那里。。
救你？？
一大清早就会有一只手神经来挑选“幸运之星”。。
然后就会被那只缠人的手捏碎自己的头。。
让自己晕过去。。。
充此就再也见不到光芒了。。。
就这样直接进入小鸟的肚子里。。。
进行消化。。。

有些蟋蟀就会以为自己很幸运。。。
没晕过去。。
就这样在小鸟的笼子里。。
呵呵。。
都不知是幸运还是坏运。。。
要被小鸟啄。。
然后吞进它的肚子里。。。

听起来是多么的悲哀。。。
可是它们还有逃生的机会。。
有些蟋蟀后面长了个翅膀。。
可以飞出笼子里。。
又或者，
笼子里破了个小洞。。
个子特别小的蟋蟀。。
也有他们逃生的机会。。
飞了。。逃了。。。
听起来很棒！！
终于！！

但是。。
一旦跳出来或飞出来。。。
外面虎视眈眈的麻雀。。
就再外面等待着。。。
自己再有什么举动。。。
以飞下来。。
再怎么跳。。
再怎么飞。。
还是逃不了。。。

是不是很悲哀？？
小鸟只求飞翔。。。
蟋蟀。。。
求什么？？
就算知道要求什么。。。
它能得到吗？？
谁又能成全它？？
谁又能容纳它？？

关在笼子里的鸟。。

我相信很多人都有些过这一篇文章。。
关在笼子里的鸟。。
我呢。。。
就觉得我和我的一位朋友就像这只鸟一样。。
被关在无形的笼子里。。
要飞却飞不出去。。。
要成长。。。
要在外承担一切。。
有任何的伤。。。
我一个承担。。。
有任何的陷阱。。。
我也想跌进去看。。。
就是想飞。。。
不管任何东西。。。
就是要飞。。

感觉自己已经呆在温室太久了。。。
我不是讨厌家人才想飞。。。
而是觉得自己是时候了。。。
是时候靠自己做决定。。
靠自己。。
依赖自己。。。
相信自己。。
我要飞。。。
就像外面能飞的小鸟一样。。。
妳说是不是。。
相信你的感觉比我跟强烈。。。
妳比我跟想飞。。。

能吗？？
我有这样的机会吗？？
能吗？？

宫崎骏

i always touched by his work!!
^^
love it so much...
i watch almost every work of his ...
nice!!
great!!
amazing!!
and because of him!!!
i love anime so much...
^^
love jap so much..
although i m not that adicted to jap news...
but what ever his news is up...
or revealed...
i'll be sure to follow it!!!

love him!!
my idol!! ^^
hoho^^

glass bottle

Sometimes i just scared...
scared to lose you...
scared to offend you...
scared to hurt you...
that is why i handle you with care..
just like a glass bottle..
every time i holds it ...
i always scared...
scared that my hands will slip...
scared that somebody might push me and fall...
scared that i will left you in someplace and i forgot..

But whatever u fill with ...
whatever that u contains...
makes me feel secure again...
give me strength..
give me the power to move foward...

That is why...
i cant leave you ....
i cant hurt you...
because i ...
cant live without you....

ps: love you always glass bottle... my ff...

我是不是。。。。

开始怀疑自己。。
我是不是同性恋。。。
妈呀。。。。
怎么办。。。
我是不是啊？？
妈呀。。。
好乱。。。
可我真的是。。。
“喜欢男的。。”
但我有有时觉得。。。
女的。。。
我好想也。。。
妈呀。。。。
是不是呢？？
妈呀。。。
乱。。。
打game
sdo 我来了。。
不要想。。
不想。。想。。。
妈呀。。
头快爆掉了。。。

我。。。。的过去。。。

我真的从不谈起这件事。。。
但我觉得是时候面对了。。
这可以说是我最迷惘的三年。。。
form 1 到 form3
呵呵。。。
可说是害人的人。。。
让身边的人都不好受。。。
骗人。。
害人。。
毁人的形象。。
挑拨离间。。
什么都有。。。
应该是心智不成熟。。。
总是觉得身边的人都好讨人厌。。。
虽然是表面上很爱玩。。
但就是很讨厌。。
遇到几个朋友。。
人还满好的其实。。
但我就是不爱珍惜。。。
常常伤害她们。。
自己还觉得没什么。。
觉得她们也对我不好的。。。
所以现在我和她们能说是"分手了"
绝交了。。。
应该是我最遗憾的吧。。。
英伟到现在仍旧没向他们道歉。。
就算她们不接受。。。
就算她们还想骂我。。
我也接受。。。
对不起。。

这三年。。
可说是我的叛逆期吧。。
不听家人的话。。
不理会他们。。
整天在外面。。
逃课。。
欺负人。。
学坏的三年。。。
辛好即时抽身。。
不然我都不知道会沦落到什么地步。。。
我这样说也许没人会信。。
有人会以为我在做故事。。。
但这是事实。。。

讲真我也很想逃避它。。。
但这事总还是我的过去。。
不能逃避。。。
所以我会大胆地接受。。
这就是我。。。的过去。。
很坏。。
很糟。。
我真的是一个很糟的人。。。
现在。。。
有时候很想大声告诉别人。。
别太靠近我。。。
我只会伤害你。。。

但现在的我可以说是变了。。
让我变的。。。
影响我的。。。
把我从深渊拔出来的。。
似乎有很多人。。
我多记不起来了。。
但我最记得的是我的家人。。
让我伤害过的家人。。。
尤其是妈妈。。
妈妈。。
妈妈。。
妈妈。。
妈妈。。

妈呀。。。想到我都要哭了。。。
mammmmiiiii...
T___T
要说多少次都不够。。。
也不能表达。。。
妈妈。。。
家人。。
我爱你们。。。





ps:现在的我却想出去闯。。好乱啊。。suh mei ><

回忆过去

while i am keeping my things...
I found one folder...
i usually keep things like certificate or paper stuff.
in different folder..
I opened that folder..
and i found all my certificate there...
i count it and there are 20 of them...
I was shock!!
coz i nvr thought that i had this amount of certificate...
although is little compare to those so call "god" people..
but i feel very happy of it...^^
then i look in to my cupboard and found there are 3 trophies.. ^^
and 2 medals... ^^
wahahaa...

i think my muka really really tebal to say it out loud here...
let me share to you: ^^ (muka tebal sangat)
trophies: the best subject in form one (art)
silver in singing competition (form 5)
4th in poster art contest (daerah)
medal: 3rd in cakera padat (sport)
3rd in lontar peluru(sport)

hohohoho^^ muka saya tebal sangat!!!!
but i like to involve in contest...
whenever there is some contest...
if i got time...
if i got that guts ...
i will really go for it!!!
hohoho^^
now...
i seems like not that active ...
cos no time><
my time all give to assignments jor...
><
haiyo.....
i wan competition!!!
i like competition!!!
i love it....
if lose jor...
i oso don care...
if win jor....
if got money....
wahahahahhaha^^
i think in my dreams gua....
hohoho^^
but i think sure can de
can de
coz...
nothing is impossible!!!
^^ hohohoho

night and day

i love night ...
and day too...
but i love night more..
because...
at night...
i wanted to do many things that i can't do...
i wanted to go out..
and watch those artificial lights at night..
or just walk on the street..
and look at those light...
donno y...
i love lights...
especially at night..
those light are like some signs ..
telling me some kinds of story...
haha (am i think too much??)
but i really enjoy it...
erm...
i love it...
but up until now i still can't see those lights at night
with my bare eyes..
but i remember that night..
just a few sec...
i saw those beautiful lights...
but just a few minutes...
i still can remember...
^^
hope some one who is special can bring me and see it again??

day...
work..
assignments..
but is oso relax too..
especially early morning..
a cup of milo..
looking at the sky..
is dim...
not that clear...
but i love it..
^^
afternoon..
the hotest time ever..
but i oso find it is nice...
coz...
erm...
no reason...
^^
erm...
in the same time i hate it too...
but not that hate at all...
evening...
sunset...
every time i ask my friends..
they always say that sunset is nice to see...
for me yea!!
i agree..
but i love the sky and the cloud more..
the sun is very nice..
but i always look at the clouds..
the sky...
sunset...
nice...
sunrise...
i belive is more beautiful...
but i still cant get to see it with my bare eyes...
some one??
who can bring me??
at anyplace also can...
as long i can see it...
hoho^^


Ps: i love you all^^ my ff ^^