me you he she we they

nothing...
left nothing...
that kinds of feels..
i knows better than you do...
coz i had nothing before...
but then now i had everything...
had everything is more scary then u had nothing...
really...
coz...
u scared all the thing u had rite here rite now..
will slip away...
and is a torture to have everything..
is a punishment for you to have everything..
is hard..
harsh...
even cruel...

tired again...
shutting down...
i don wan to know anything right here right now...
i am tat stupid ...
i am tat naive...
i am tat fool...
for you to fooled around with..
yea...
i think this is wat i meant to you...
i am a doll for you...
you can have fun with me...
but then one day..
u will grow up and just throw me away...
like you did last time..

yes..
i am tat depressed...
i am tat evil...
i am tat cruel...
feeling bad..
i know y u angry..
i know how u react...
i know how u gone missing without any words...
i know the reason very well...
but i just escape it...
i try to forget just to make myself didn't feel any guilty..
i am.....

you can abandon me like they did..
coz i am not worth it...
yea...
i can become one of those trash inside the dustbin...

revenge

Am i that kind of girl who is hard to forget someone...

Especially the one i love?

hahahahha^^ but anyways..

i am pretty sure that i am that kind of girl who will revenge on those people who make my sad or even cry^^

pretty evil am i?

i am scary really.. sometimes.. after seeing wat i did when i revenge on somebody.. i really am evil...

remember that.. she cried like hell... after i revenge on her...

sorry...

really sorry...

i better not to do this again...

i am so evil... and bad...

>< sorry.. really sorry...

now...

what i say now... i think is not going to work on you..

even i said thousands of sorry...

that scar that i left to you will still remain..

because to you...

i know it is a very deep scar...

althought is pointless for me to say sorry..

but i still wanted to say sorry to you in person...

i am not trying to rescue our friendship..

cause i know it wont works..

we can be friends...

but is those that will say hi...

and chit chat for a while..

i am sorry, shirren, ying ying, xiao hui..

sorry for what i did to you all...

and thank you for teaching me ^^

what if

what if you know tomorrow u are going to die?

what if you are all alone facing the biggest problem?

what if your enemy said i love you?

what if the one u love for so long had get married?

what if your parent come and said i don't want you?

what if you can't do the things that you like?

what if there is a bunch of vampires waiting outside your house, waiting you to be their meal?

what if you are madly in love but need to be apart with the one you love?

what if you had a cancer?

what if you had nothing?

what if you had already gone crazy?

what if you can't ever see the person you care?

what if you can finally set yourself free?

what if you can fly away by your own?

what if you can go out explore the world?

what if you meet somebody that you don't know?

what if you don't know the way back home?

what if you can't control what you are doing?

what if you been force by people to do something that you don't like?

what if you lie?

what if you die?

what if you need to start from the beginning ?

what if you never know who you are?

before the storm comes.... is silence..

start worried of something...
every time, the cafe i use to pass by sure got many people at ther yam cha.. chui sui...
but these few days, the cafe is way too silent.. and there is no people inside...
every time the wind blows.. feel so fresh and calm...
but today feels like so creepy and scary...
i heard some rumors from the neighbors...
they said that thursday morning, bout' 4 am there is one gang shown up and start hitting on a man...
and some said that they use knife and heavy materials start throwing and slashing ...
and now there is one house are preparing some kind of ceremony...
and all they use are blue cloths and blue chairs..
in chinese tradition... blue cloths and chairs.. are the colors for funeral ceremony...
that man... i don't know whether these rumors are true..
but i feel that there will be something will happen soon...
my father came back home that day... he said that..
there will be a gang that is team up by our neighborhoods..they will try to search that certain gang who sentence that man to death....
i am shivering... and scared... what will happen next??
god bless my family will be safe and sound

i only will act the fool one time

不再是那种女生了。。
我不是那种只会等。。
我不是那种只会在后面默默地哭泣了。。
我不再是那种只会留恋了。。
也不是那种会在默默地祝福了。。
哈哈哈。。
她的出现来得刚刚好。。
至少让我清醒了。。
哈哈。。
对。。
这不是掩饰伤心的笑。。
这使我改变而开怀大笑。。
祝你们两白头到老。。
也祝我能够找到比你更好。。
一定是更加的好。。
hohohohoho

i only will act the fool one time...
hehehhehe^^

天，下雨吧。。

又再一次崩溃了。。
天。。
你能够下一场大雨吗？好让我站在大地的正中央。。
毫不遮掩的哭泣。。

我本来都好好的。。开始忘记。。开始当他是朋友，知己。。
可是他跑来告诉我。。“如果当时，她还没出现。。而我又告诉我爱你。。你猜我们现在会是怎样？”
。。。。。

我崩溃了。。我输了。。彻彻底底的输了。。
我既生气，又伤心。。
跑到房间。。静静地对着角落。。哭得不像人一样。。
又不能大声喊。。怕家人听到会担心。。

你怎么我一直为你而哭泣。。
而你却给我一个很幸福的样子。。
你很残忍，你。。
为什么不早说。。
为什么她会出现。。
为什么我又会认识你。。

sick..

today morning.. i fail again.. heard how you describe her to me... no wonder i don't feel anything last night.. but in this morning.. i was like broke into pieces.. my tears are like flood.. and i can't really stop it..

but to think of it.. we.. i think you use to be.. but then she turns up.. to think of that day i and she meet up.. how panic you are.. haha^^ but at the end you had your decision.. and the results is this..

But why i still sick of you.. i should had forget you.. i forget.. but when i heard some sad love song.. i will start to think of you.. to think back the days we been through.. then cry again..

even now i type this... my hands shake.. and my eyes is watery... i jam and stop after i fin typing one line... yea... I REALLY SICK OF YOU... love... why are you always treat me like that.. why you always bring one guy to me but then using him to torture me.. i am so tired.. i am fed up on how you control everything..

i keep on telling myself.. u are just a pass by friend.. that is all.. but the more i think this.. i gone crazy more...just to think of.. i really regret.. why i didn't ask you on that day... i really.. am... sick of you..

it is time for me to forget.. now that i am calm... now... i will forget you... but that days we been through.. i will keep it for a good memory.. but i won't think of it that much.. cause i will move more forward.. and look at things differently.. i will be more positive on these..

right? there is no point for me to cry or miss for a guy that will not be my side.. yes!! just think of this..^^
i will be alright.. anf fine and even better^^

raaaannnnnddddoooommm

my minds are all stuck these days...
but now i see more, i saw that i am not alone.. i saw that there will be a lot of people stands by me when i was crying..
I knew that i am not alone.. i knew that i had many things that i don't realize..and those are the most important things in my life.. i will not abandon it.. and i will keep it as a treasure in my heart^^

These days.. i think i am back to normal.. i think^^ because.. it seems like there is no point for me to feel sad or anything.. yup the things that we had done before.. is a good memory for me though^^ good luck on everything^^ god bless you^^
I think my ex really said it right though.. i am a person who loves to think much.. way too much especially in love.. yup.. i am.. and i will try not to be like that anymore.. it seems like the more i think, it hurts more..

eh.. you... stop calling can bo.. so annoying.. and so disturbing..
start to feel this way again... is been a long time.. this feeling comes out again... am i less??
no matter how hard i try.. no matter how easy it looks like... feels hard for me... really hard..
start random mode again hahaha^^
think think think...
haizzz.... feel lazy to play games..
hey.. i believe you are right here by my side..
oi... who are you actually?? suddenly pop out last night and ask me what am i doing...
erm... we still friends^^ and i didn't think much jor^^
haha^^ feel happy anyways^^ feel happy you tell me your situation.. at least i won't wait.. anymore.. and i won't think much jor...
the only thing that i regret is you treat me a bit different...that's all
i still scared of ghost... lar....
eh eh^^ who want go watch scary movie with me in cinema??
hahahha^^
mei mei> sooner or later you sure can fly.. i don't know how to cheer people up when they feel depressed.. really.. but.. cheer up k..^^ u r not alone.. ^^
erm... why i start thinking of you.. i am not..
><
hahaha... so random....>< what people is me anyways...

sometimes.. i really don't like to play until so happy.. or to feel very happy....
cause i know happiness always come along with sadness..
after all the laughter.. it hurts...

but i love to be very happy always..
guess that i just love to get hurt in a way...

跌了。。伤了。。久了。。就好了。。疯了。。醒了。。什么都假的。。哭了。。说了。。我也发泄了。。看开了。。看远了。。我没事的。。^^

确定了。。
这次真的确定了。。
你已有她了。。
^^..
为何我会一点反应都没呢？
哈哈。。
可能只是现在吧。。
如果一点反应都没那就奇怪了。。
哈哈。。就让我自闭一天。。
那就好了。。
我会快乐的。。

肯定了。。
那就伤了。。
过了。。
就算了。。
久了。。
就习惯了。。
习惯了。。
就放弃了。。

我的爱情路。。
往往都是这样。。。
没变过。。
单方面。。
然后久了。。
淡了。。
就忘了。。
大部分都单方面。。
现在你说了。。
那我就放了。。
就当你哥哥。。
当你朋友。。
算了。。

突然又开始想望着那蓝蓝的天空。。
看着那白白的云，慢慢的飘。。
但偏偏现在是晚上。。

其实早就预料了。。
早就知道会这样的。。
haizz。。
着条如此讨厌又喜欢的路。。
往往都让我哭笑不得。。
往往让我觉得。。
越是想靠近的。。
到最后都是各自飞了。。

我深信。。你。。
是不会遥远的。。
男或女。。
都是未知之数。。
哈哈^^
老婆。。我会没事的。。
meimei。。我会更好的。。

少了。。没了。。就完了。。

少了。。
什么都少了。。
少在电脑面前不停的傻笑。。
少在你的留言箱里留言。。
少去我们常去的地方。。
少去翻找那些好笑的视频分享给你。。
少和你聊天。。
少和你谈天论地。。
少和你分析某些新奇的东西
少了。。
什么都少了。。

你渐渐的往梦想飞去了。。
我也渐渐的飞往我要走的路了。。
我们的路。。我们的梦想。。
怎么扯都扯不进。。
怎么说。。都是两条完完全全不同的东西。。
渐渐的。。
就渐渐的。。
少了。。
什么都少了。。
慢慢的。。
什么都会没了。。
什么。。你我。。还会剩下什么？

遗憾。。
我多的是。。
以前的就不用再提了。。
meimei说该去争取自己要的东西。。
就算输了也没遗憾。。
对。。
是对的。。
可是。。
我就是偏偏不会去争取的人。。
怕。。
真的怕。。
哈哈。。
讲到我好像承认了。。我已经。。

嬉皮笑脸vs外冷内热
神经兮兮vs冷静稳重
粗心大意vs完美安排
做事死板vs灵活变通

你。。我。。
我。。你。。
就是这几个性格。。
当你粗心大意。。我却能帮你安排的妥善。。
当我做事死板时。。你却教我灵活变通。。
就这样。。当我们其中一个遇到不好的事时。。
另一个都会帮忙。。
就这样。。我们的关系应该就只是这样？

那个地方。。

那个地方很远。。
（搭飞机就飞得到）
那个地方很陌生。。
（但你的亲戚在那里啊）
那个地方有很多不熟悉的人。。
（以你的性格很快就能适应，融入）

那个地方却有着你的理想。。
那个地方却照亮着你的前途。。
那个地方离这里很远。。
很远。。
真的很远。。

你vs你。。

你拜托。。别来烦我好吗？
拜托。。我和你。。impossible...
别再想了。。我不想去想。。
我不想再被你伤害了。。
你别来找我。。
我会产生幻像的。。
你又不是不知道我的为人。。
你又不是第一天认识我。。
你又不是不知道我是怎样对你在那3个礼拜。。
 分了就别来烦我好吗。。
又是你离开的。。
又是你抛弃的。。
又是你不要的。。
又是你放弃的。。
又是你不理不睬的。。
现在你又？？
闪一边去好吗。。

你。。
即将要离开了。。
即将要飞了。。
即将要追你的梦想了。。
即将。。
即将。。
这些都是明年的事。。
为何我想那时间停留呢？
haizz。。

你。。
你。。
你们。。
怎么都要一样？
难道我就这么的喜欢惹上像你们这种人吗？
很乱。。
很累。。
很傻。。
像你们这么不起眼的人。。
像你们这么神秘兮兮的。。
像你们这么让我摸不清的。。
像你们这么冷血的。。

够了！！
我去做尼姑。。
哈哈。。
haizz。。
wei。。
你们。。
你们。。
怎么这么难忘？

ps： 给你的话：“曾经轰轰烈烈的我们。。现已分开成为陌生人。。”
      给你。。的话：“加油。。去追你的梦吧。。”

lie... lie...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpfNY4cZ4lQ&feature=fvst
lies... all you said to me seems so true... although u are saying the truth... but all i heard is just another bunch of lies...

said u wont leave me behind...
said u wont left me alone...
said u won't hurt me...
said u won't harm me....
said u won't abandon me...
lies... all u said are bunch of lies...

u left me...
u leave me...
u hurt me....
u abandon me....

y sudden i think that ur leaving is good for me?
no.....
u left nothing...
really nothing...
just memories...
and those memories is the ones i wanted to forget...
i wanted to throw...
u.... are so clever...
u knows that the ones who leave the first.. will be the winner...
cause u know there is only sadness left behind....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4WRrL_gU-U
hey... i love you though...
but... we are totally over u know...
so.....
just stand there...
just stand at the place... just stand at her side..
don leave her... and don come near to me....
i scared i will start think much and steal you away from her...
stand aside... and watch me burn.....
that is all you can do..

u never look back aren't you?

being abandon aside the road... that kind of feeling... i know better than anyone else..
just a sudden.. feels like u are all alone... nobody is beside you.. nobody is going to help you...

the people who abandon you... they left nothing.. but only memories are left to you.. and these.. are the most headache part.. they seems so kind at that time... but now.. they are abandon u aside the road.. thinking, how they can turn away so fast... how can they do this to you? and after this.. you will think they are the cruelest people in the world... but after a minute.. you will feel regret.. and said to yourself.. they sure have reason for this..

then you wait... but you are just lying to yourself.. you try not to think... but you think even more... and started to miss them.. you started to listen to the songs that they suggest you... you started to look back what they write on the message that they send to you... you will just do whatever you can do just to reminds you they are there with you before... and then you will start make stories... make stories to tell yourself that they will come back one day.. is just the matter of time...

after that? you start to feel tired.. can't breathe.. can't walk... can't talk... keep on dreaming and blurring.. don't know what to do.. and you had no mood on everything... walk like a zombi.. when walk on a high place.. u are almost fall...but even you also don't realized it..

when you are alone... feel like crying... looking at the ceiling... wondering... face to the wall.. thinking... eyes started to fill up with tears... but you cant cry it out loud.. donno why... later.. every night.. you try to sleep.. but can't, cause all inside your mind are the memories that they left...it just make your feeling more worst..

in the morning... as always... there is no any signs of them... what you do? you stand up and said to yourself... i can live without you anyways.. so you start to do everything to forget them.. yes you did it^^ and you forget them completely.. you think that you still have your family who always support you.. you still have your beloved friends.. so what is the point t remember them? yea... you totally forgot...

congrats^^ yay^^
......
...
..

.......
...
..
when time passing... days after days... their faces their action... everything they did.. is more remarkable.. and you can't even forget.. yes.. you may not be as stupid like last time.. but when you are all alone.. you will start crying... you try everything.. but those people who abandon you... those who are use to be like an angel to you... they are just another devil who are keeping torturing you...but... these devil... you just can't take away them completely from your life...

missing them... i really miss them...

-to those who had treat me so well, so kind, but abandon me-

finally.. i wake up in this morning..
and realize.. we two are impossible.. but friends can lar...
cause i really don think.. u are in.. and i started to give up..
i surrender.. i don't know how to react.... what ever you say.. what ever you did... what ever...
it give me a feeling that we are just friends..
my friends all said we are... now.. i don't think so jor..
haha... haizz.. i give up... i really give up.. but if you are in.. pls tell... if u are out.. i don't mind either..
....
i... surrender... i die.. i don't know wat to say and wat to do...
fine la... fine la.... so tired....

can i knock my head on the wall...
just to forget u..
today..
in the morning..
in lrt...
at coll...
in lrt again..
and at 7 eleven...
u are not there..
but i keep on looking around wishing u were there.. i am dead... this feeling... is the same as the past.. y ... stupid.. i am not suppose to be like this.. can i scold u ar?
pls... if u really care... then say it out loud.. that u care... don care half way and abandon me at the side of the road like my xxxxxxx did...
pls.. i .. i... every time... u... u... haizzz.... u really that ... that... haizz... no mood to scold ah...

but is hard for me to do such a thing.. really hard... u... haizz... we are so diff and some how is common in a way.. haizz...
in the morning... i walk slowly coz i know ur time... haizz... but no use lo...
at coll... as always... walk...keep on wondering...
way back home from asia..
i knock my head inside the lrt... just wanna forget...but... haizz...
u.... i know u.... are... not... even though u are...we...u... i... wat is it??

why.....

why?? i just can't learn from my mistakes??

why i love to simply put my things at everywhere...

when i needed it... i just can't find it..... just like today....

why i love to think too much....

the things is not exits there... but i still think it is there...

ppl didn't do it... but i think they did it....

ppl didn't think like that.... but i think they think like that....

why i love to talk nonsense and hurt ppl without knowing...

sorry guys...>< really sorry....

why i love to give up on something in a minute...

but next minute i hold it as tight as possible??

why... why.... i always forgot something...

or left something behind....

why i can be so hyper at this time...

but the next time i can be so emo....

why i just can't learn....

why i just can't change these so call "bad habit" of mine...

why i am that blur...><

why i am that clumsy....

why i am that bad to learn a thing....

haizz.....><