Start to feel a bit...

Is it when come into this stage will start to think of something that creates tons of trouble?
Is not that I can overcome every trouble I'm dealing with this big big Question.. And this is not a question that I can really deal it with a perfect answer/solution~

Although I've been thinking about it for several years.. And seems like no one kinda know I'm planning about it.. But still I scare what I plan cant be done due to the reality.. Things keep change everyday, every second.. Life is hard.. And it reflects perfectly in my life though.. Although life is tough.. but while u getting mad or sad or even depress.. time still flying without your noticing though... So why don't just smile and overcome it?

Yea is hard.. is tough.. is even harsh.. This is real life though.. Things are not easy here.. The society is full of junks and annoying people who trying hard to shake ur faith and even wanted to drive u crazy.. but hey~ life still on.. and think about them cant make you become more happier u see.. so let them be the bad guys and let the detention made by their fate~ Cause I believe every thing goes around.. no matter how u act to be good and nice~ once u are the bad guys who planing to hurt people at their back.. sure things you do to the victim will happens to you..

And so this is why I'm still afraid that my plan can be done... and still been thinking a way to make it success~ But whenever you have a great plan which you think it can success~ sure there is a tiny little hole to ruin your whole plan.. but it is the choice for yourself to fix it or leave it.. The outside world is not that scary to me.. But it is so powerful to make a person to get lost into it.. i'm afraid I'll get lost again.. Get lost into the trap that others create..Get lost into myself and become the "me" which been expected from others.

That is why too, I still not ready to ask or even discuss this matter of mine to others.. cause this is where I decided to stand.. is either tall up on the hill.. or the bottom of the lake.. but no matter how tall or how low it is.. as long I'm happy and I be able to fulfill my goal.. then is fine to me.. ahhh... stress about this matter... ahh worrying a lot of things while planning..

I can't miss a thing from now on.. really cant.. life is short and I know it well.. my family my friends my lover~ all my beloved.. Really scare that u all will fade away from me.. really afraid that I will forget every little thing of u.. Really scare while letting u guys feel I'm ignoring you... T^T haiyo.. I'm changing.. changing to a person whom pay more attention ler.. but still.. somethings falling apart.. I'll trying hard and my best to stick it back together..

Lately, really think a lot lately..